CANT LIVE WITH/WITHOUT THEM

There might be many things in life which for some reason, known or unknown , knowingly unknowingly we have to keep/bear/follow even desire, till the point we don’t have them. Once we have them we don’t want more of it for sure and even greater problem is that we always want to get rid of the existing. The DILEMMA: we want to get rid, but we cant let go off it, coz once it goes we would start the process again to have it.
The list of such thing is long….but it is interesting if thought over creatively. Lets try and pour in some of such things/issues.

1) NAUKRI: Probably the last time I got up late in the afternoon, just to go and again sleep in the winter sun, was in college. “Naukri milne ke baad toh neend haraam ho gayi hai.” During college not having money ,rather putting it in a more euphemistic way …a 24x7x30x12 money crunch, we enjoyed life more as compared to these days. Makes me feel the money I earn is far less than the price I actually am paying in return.
Talking on the personal aesthetics front.. I am god dam loosing hair on my head at a rate
higher than Indian birth rate…gaining weight 100 times faster than aishwarya loosing side
tyres for the skimpy dresses in dhoom-doobara. Its been just 2 yrs out of college and college
babes have already started calling me uncleji/bhaisahab. I doubt if there is a matrimonial
column in leading dailies with entries of people like me under the heading “Deceptive
appearances..People who are younger than they look” You might forget you are a
kshatriya,aggarwal,manglik or any non-manglik the only concern koi shaadi karega kya?

2) BIWI: Once upon a time he was a happy man…today he is married. That might summarise the drastic change a bachelor experiences in his life once he takes those “ saat vachans/Kabul hai/I accept….etc etc” This best puts up how foolish men are to accept such a situation once having seen their, long gone and few surviving ancestors, constantly cribbing about it. One of the most cherished moments for a girl to keep is how her man proposed her, each and every iota of detail she would remember. The shirt colour, jeans , waist size, gift , what stupid act the guy did, what made her say yes/no etc etc. The guys also don’t forget such times…reasons could be different.
Shaadi ke baad shuru hoti hai ek nayi tension…..bachelors bechaare especially hostel ki junta. Just putting down the common comments heard/overheard in the locality or a friend sharing his dukh with me…..
Yeh socks shoes main rakhne ke hote hain palang par nahin, take them off before u get into bed.
Once the guy starts doing that
Yeh socks bathroom/washing machine main rakhne hote hain….shoes main nahin.

Q: khana kaisa banaya maine? Dekho sach bolna so that I can improve upon what I am trying.
Point to be noted guys never ask questions they only answer that too as briefly as they can.
A: I think you should have added a little less salt in the dal, and made chapattis little less crispy (by crispy we mean prevented it from turning to almost ash). Its good to improve, mummy will help you in this.
Q/A (cant make out) it is an outbust actually…. Tumhari mummy ka khana mujhe pata hai..mere haath ka khana hai to aisa hi milega nahin to jao mummy ke ladle unke paas. Aur yeh namak ka chakkar chapatti ka jalna acha nahin lagta to directly bolo….mujhe shauk nahin hai din bhar kaam karne ka…kal se office canteen main account khol lena.

Due to space constraints I can not put down the huge list of such civilized conversations here but I guess all have seen it for themselves.

3) KIDS I always say one thing “Bache tab tak ache hote hain jab tak woh kisi aur ke hote hain”.
Exactly 9 months and a week or so from the date of marriage.(Pata nahin why men are in such a hurry …). The guy goes to his family and breaks the good news” aap sabke liye khush khabri hai main baap ban gaya”
Kindly take notice…”AAP SABKE LIYE” ya he is right sab khush ho sakte hain except for the man himself. When these kids are actually young they will cry over petty things….feels like ek kheench ke do…but dada..dadi..nana..nani..mohalle ki chachi..pados ke phoophi..door ke tauji..paas ki biwi…all become you enemies. As if something like having an extramarital affair has been caught at times even worse. It is not the 2foot waala who explains..his job is to keep crying rolling big fake droplets of namkeen paani from his two big eye sockets. The convict is daddy who has to explain and even more apologise.

Kya batayen…kasam se yeh teen jo sabse badi cheez hamse le lete hain sada ke liye woh hai hamari “AZAADI “ bechari bapu azaadi ke naam pe lad gaye jaate jaate bole isse sambhal ke rakhna…..but dear bapu be practical how can we sambhalo azaadi jab naukri, biwi aur bache bhi hamein hi sambhalne hain…freedom is khatam once either of these comes.

IS POSSESSIVENESS RIGHT ?

I am no saint nor a punk rock arist of the nirvana or metallica cult to preach moksha, sacrifice, self restraint, or any other form/version. It is just a simple question “ Is possessiveness right/good/ is it a virtue.”
A friend of mine is proud of the fact that she is wanted and liked by all her friends. As soon as she wakes up, there are a bunch of them she needs to call up to wish them good morning. Then on reaching office all through out the day she calls up another office going batch of her friends, (so many phone calls might appear normal she being “SHE” but still they are more than usual). On leaving office there is this another “jatha” of the more intimate ones who would want her to come home for dinner and overnight gossip. On denying or ignoring anyone, the other day the price is paid by spending twice the normal time on that person. She is still proud of being SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
Now the point is when does she have time for herself, or her existence identity is only of a friend of the so many friends and nothing more. She says her friends are possessive about her.
The benefits of being possessive, for her friends:
1) They become more dependent on her, in personal issues, hence unable to handle any kind of problem, setback or something bigger and even smaller ones.
2) She becomes more a part of their decisions, which till day they have not taken individually for the fear if they might go wrong, and on that part they have somebody to share the blame.
3) They spend a chunk of their “not so useful but potentially useful if put rightly” time on her.
The benefits to her:
1) The only other benefit apart from the above common ones is that the day she realizes that she is so very wanted, people are so very possessive about her, it will be difficult for her to maintain this accord for long, In this struggle to keep all happy she would forget to live how she had wanted to spend her life.

This appears to me as an incomplete post, I couldn’t think beyond. But the gist I would say is possessiveness is a BIG word, there are smaller ones that I am contended with. They satisfy all needs of vocabulary in MY LITTLE WORLD.

Kya BUDHAPA Aa Gaya ???

It is very difficult to accept that we have grown old , Buddhe as we say it, and the so called Jawani chali gayi. To accept this, is an act of bravery, it might not be one of those visible war time or post-marital ones, but it definitely is no lesser than any of these.On the other hand it is even worse to accept it earlier than it actually comes. To help us out of this situation almighty God helps us by giving certain hints to understand this ageing process,, somewhat like this………………

Jab sar pe sirf kone-kone main, do-char baal dikhte hain
Aur sar ki kami, dadhi main haath pher ke poori karte hain.
Jab dadhi ka asal rang kaali Dye se chupate hain..
Aur sone se pehle daanton ko paani main dubate hain.
Jab saari raat ek pal bhi neend naa aat hoi
Aur murge se pehle apni Morning hai jaati ho.
Jab roz nahana ek buri aadat ban jaaye
Aur bina kayam churan ke khana na pach paaye.
Jab Dunlop par sone se badan akadne lage
Aur farsh par sone se sardi pakadne lage.
Jab kamar dhanush jaisi ban jaaye
Aur duur, paas ja kar bhi nazar na aaye.
Jab kaan ke andar cheekhne par bhi sunayi na de
Aur sivay khaal ke shareer par kuch dikhayi na de.
Jab din ki shuruaat aur shabe- khair dawai se ho
Aur parhez, meetha,makhan,mewa aur malai se ho
Jab apne putra se pota pyara lagne lage
Aur poti ke sab boyfriends awara lagne lage
Jab poora sharer do kamzor godhon , aur ek chadi pe tik jaaye
Aur is autorikshaw ko na koi roke, na koi ise chalaye
Jab saari janta udhar dene se katrayen
Aur jo de chuke hain, woh roz maangnein aa jaayein.
Jab mann hi mann main yeh vichar panapne lage
Yaar,BHAGWAN mujhe uthane main deri kyon karne lage

TAB AUR SIRF TAB SAMJHO BUDHAPA AA GAYA!!!!!

Have Dreams ??.

Dreams, something that not many of us would disclose publicaly…atleast if we do that…we will be amongst a circle of close friends. I always thought these things are really ..really very personal..and still I think the same.
When people within the family, friends ask me what are your dreams, what would u like to do in life or similar questions, questions that would require me to analyse the distant and also the not so distant future to come to a concrete answer. I usually end up blank…that does not mean I don’t have anything to say….but then the similar funda I think its so personal….people might want to do weird things, huge things, silliest of the things, not so important, trivial things in life…which might just appear kind a funny. And at least I can not take somebody laughing at things like this….Boss that’s the way I think I did not ask you to inquire me about myself…you did it on your own ….can I at least have the liberty to think, do and dream the way I like howsoever weird it may be.

This is the way I am, it is interesting to meet the people who think exactly the opposite of what you think. These kinds are passionate about their dreams, they have set a target. They work hard focused in that direction, lunatic they might appear , when they talk about their dreams with passion. Dreams that at least a normal guy like me would shun even in my dreams. Having a company , dining with Bill gates, being the richest person on this earth, to have a fleet of the finest cars Ferrari, jaguar, Mercedes and etc etc .Today they are with me probably its my weakness to go ahead to strife that makes these things look beyond mine and their reach.

“Acceptance gives you satisfaction, the ability to adapt to the existing scenario, on the contrary it also kills the desire to struggle for a better….deal (you can say deal, coz decisions are no different in life as in business…we always want profit).”

There are various schools of thought….some say Dream, Desire, take risks, go ahead make an effort…in the end you will surely win, if not literally at least in your heart you know that the effort you put in has given you something to keep for a life time, experience.

The others say, be satisfied with what you have, leave it to destiny even if you don’t get what you want there is destiny to blame, and if you get something it is your effort. They are the safe players, they don’t take much risks, superficially they look a lot happier than the earlier ones, they might not rise fast ,slow they might look at least they keep walking.

Are you able to decide which of these categories do you belong, coz the earlier ones would need to wake up to dream and the others would have to sleep to not to dream.

SELLING BOYS!!!

It is a wonderful feeling to know that you have to search a groom for your little sis. The preparations and follow ups are no short of the walk in interviews of call centres. Probably the reflection of the not so good sex ratio..and guys eager to get married early you never know who will be the ones left out in the race.
The preparations..
Asking relatives, distant, not so distant, and close ones to see if they can find a suitable match for the lovely lady. Calling them up,(even if you had not called them up in the last decade), following them up, unwillingly talking to them sweetly (it taught me to be diplomatic, atleast).
Secondly, newspaper advertisements, following them, attending to them politely never know who might just be the one to land up as your new born yet fully grown up relative.

The question:
Q: is dowry abolished?
A: is dowry abolished ?
Yes that is the big problem, the mindset has not yet changed, if not for all atleast for many people. It might differ from place to place, people to people , community to community…but it is still prevalent at some rather many places and sections of the society.

It is highly irritating when people even before asking the qualifications of the girl, ask “JI AAPKA BUDGET KYA HAI” . Thanks to the fact that it was me who handled all the calls, and even greater to have parents that think similar yet keep in mind the social and society created and nurtured customs. The people to take up such discussions first were given a very warm farewell without hurting them for the fact that we can not and don’t and would not bid for boys. That’s where you realize that still it’s a huge selling market “ mandi” as it is said in hindi, where the highest bidder (buyer) gets the stock. The only difference being the bidder bids not to buy but to sell,let go off a very sweet and dear part of himself.
I might be wrong but I still feel if that’s the way, atleast the little cute lady of your household will not be as happy. Had the grooms family decided on her because of her qualifications, behaviour, personality she would be respected , accepted and taken care of. I don’t dream or propose a revolution, few things are left to individuals, hope the number of these individuals will rise in the future.
“Main toh akela hi chala tha manzil ki aur, log aate gaye karvan banta gaya”

PS: there could be errors in the last line sorry for that.

great to be back!!!

hi... after a 3 month hibernation i am back for another 10 days ......
these days have been great with me being able to visit the INDO-PAK border not the ones like wagah which every common man can go ....but one in the THAR desert.....where you are able to see the actual fence, the BSF and Pak ranger outposts...the all night patrol....and ya the temperatures at any time during day above 50 in degree centigrades (for engr.'s)
Cruising in a scorpio at 100+km/hr in the desert wonderful......

Got to see a temple in TANOT ...india is full of mysticism....during the indo-pak 1971 war the pak resorted to heavy shelling and the people had to leave the desert areas.....many of them took shelter in the Tanot temple.....it's absolutely beyond words to explain when you see that not a sindle shell that dropped in the temple compound fired.....and all people in the temple were safe rest could not be saved. Those shells are still kept there as evidence and proof of this magical tale.

baaki samachar break ke baaad

college ki mast kavita...

My friends said why not put up those kavita's written in college....I thought that will be fine.
So, anything that you cannot understand, if it appears like a name assume it, most of these will be related to the incidents that occured in college ......enjy reading them

Yeh kissa hai pichle kuch saalon ka
Gujarti jawani aur udte baalon ka
kuch saal pehle umar thi Eighteen
Dono bagal main ladkiyan hongi, set they aise man main kai scene.
Par shayad ishwar (upar waale) ko hamari hi maarni thi,
Jo hamein apne bhari jawani, NSIT ke patjhad main gujarni thi.
Aise din gujarte gujarte beet gaye teen je haan teen saal,
Itni mehnat ke baad bhi sirf tanhai,hai na yeh kamaal.
Ab main aur meri tanhai, aksar yeh baat kartein hain,
Aisa kya hai jo Namrata ji par itne log marte hain.
Aur bhi hain , jaise ki kanya kapoor,
Parichay 21inch ke dole aur sehat bharpoor.
khuda kasam, unki tareef sun ke paseene choot gaye,
kisi kanya ke saath hone ke saare sapne toot gaye.
kismat se unse mile, toh matha chakra gaya,
bola bhagwan is baar bacha lo, lagta hai ladies akhare main aa gaya.
Ishwar ne jhatpat sun li meri pukar,
bheja naya stock, jismein thi ek..Kuhar.
Dost bole naha ke paas ja baat kar do chaar,
hum bole "susar mauke ki najakat nahin samajhte ho yaar."
dikhta nahin woh ladiej group ke saath hi sirf nikalti hain,
par maan kasam, sab saaliyon ko saath dekh khushi milti hain.
Ek lamba guard bhi rehta hai saath, jyada nahin thoda thoda,
meri prarthna hai, bhagwan banaye rakhe un giraffon ka joda.
phir bhi haar na maani,neha community par dhyan lagaya,
wah re prabhu tune har model hain shandaar banaya.
Sharma hai Skoda , Singh hai Safari,
Sab hain mehngi, hum hain bhikhari.
kuch mehnti bhi hain, jaise ki Bunnu lala,
sharir gol mol rang carbon type kaala.
hum ne salah di, kyon mara rahe ho kanya hai gori,
bole opposite poles attract ,this is a proved theory.
Lamba test match chala, kai wicket gire,
Bunnu bowler kai logon par bhaari pade.
Aakhir kashmiri yeh match jeet gaye,
Bunnu ki kismat kharab tab tak, rakhi aur bhai dooj bhi beet gaye.
ek tha kismat waala, naam tha Surya hamara,
wajan main kanya ka 25% hain bechara.
Bola gym jaaunga sehat banani hai,
hum bole tune kaunsi kanya godi main uthani hai.
tu bas dekhna, woh hi tujhe uthayegi,
maan lage hain teri, bacha samajh ke khilayegi.
Ek hain chinki, namoona made in japan,
pehle shikha aur ab madam Madan.
Madan ki tareef main bola , kanya sundar hain, patli hai aur gori,
Bhai ishq ne aankhen phod di hai J.Lo laage hain Jassi jaise chori.
Bole kanya sundar ho, meetha bole pyara sa muskuraaye,
apne jaisa toh kasam se itne main hi lut jaaye.
Rahi baat apni, buddhi bal ki gaaranti nahin, par dil apna saaf hai,
100 % ek to milegi, kundli main likha hain tu do bachon ka baap hai.

Dhanyavad
lekhak
gaurav

Do you TRUST me????

It might have happened a lot of times that some friend or family member, in an effort to try and put across something ended up saying., "Trust me". Or before a conversation over a sensitive topic started "Do you trust me" .
Nothing much to say after that, other than listen to them. What is that made you shut up your mouth and listen. The person just requested or questioned you about the trust thing..Is trust such a big issue in the fast moving lives.

I feel YES. When I question or request that means I somewhere doubt and I want the person on the other side to once again reiterate it with a Yes that he/she trusts me. On the other hand the beautiful part could be where we never put up such statements yet there is this tacit understanding...I feel this is what is more important.
We might have been friends for years, good friends, does that insure that we trust each other...I doubt that. Because we might have a huge group of friends, but within that group we have favourism, not expressed, not given much thought as to why but can say just like that. We have one or two special friends , confidates. If the group knows 10 things about me..they know that others dont know the other 10. They are the people to be cherished, and to have their companythrough out your life is worth the effort, here is where trust comes in...wherever I may be I know my confidate is just a call away, and probably I might not even need to make that call he will be there for me before that.

Trust is too big a word to be used just like that. A regular meeting, a 20/24 hrs togetherness, an all festival and all occassions gift exchange, valentine roses, holi colours, diwali de patakhe, hour long phone calls at 15 min intervals, the bike/car drops to and fro , the buying pink shirts/skirts, the long lonely drives, the incessed yellow envelopes( i think the colour is right) does not create/generate/evolve/surface Trust.

They dont need to do even the slightest bit of the above , rather they have the liberty to not to do any of these, and miss out any occassion howsoever isspeshul that may be, what so ever may occur just that the TRUST that someone is there is worth giving up all this and setting them free to enjoy life the way they want to.
Small third person skirmishes, a regular nok-jhonk, not keeping in contact for long, rather anything that you can think of (apart from forcing me to watch ekta kapoors' serials) can break that confidence, and if you have had this its never toooo late it would be one of the best things that you might have done in your life,inexplicable thing, to again patch up with one such friend.

The repercussions of reservation.

Gandhiji quoted that” If a law made for the benefit of the people is not implemented rightly, the public looses faith in the law. So, in order for a law to serve it’s purpose the implementation also has to be proper.”
I was around 7yrs of age , I knew who my father was my mother, yet the teacher said “Gandhiji is the father of the nation”. This kind of confused me, later I realized this was not meant literally. When such a great man, a guide of the nation just like a father to a child feels the importance of implementation, then why the hell their lineage and party formed on his principles does not abide by his thought.
If they don’t and they deviate from Gandhism, congress is no more congress, once the foundation is flawed the building is not worth living, might fall anytime.

Even more the close to 50% reservation idea comes from our very own, PM Mr. Manmohan Singh a renowned economist. If such learned people make such weird judgements what is the difference if Lalu prasad, or Mayawati takes the hot seat, atleast we will not be surprised, they were expected to do this.
Most masala newspapers with those stereotyped correspondents begin with “history repeats itself” making a reference to the Mandal Commission. They are actually not handling such an important and sensitive issue as they are supposed to ( I always believed the journalism , teachers etc communities are full of learned, intellectuals, just the opposite of us). This might end peacefully , but the media hype would surely give it the status of Mandal commission –II and bringing forth another array of Rajeev Goswami’s waiting to encash from such events.

All said and done. The “vicharniya” issue, if this gets implemented and comes in practice what all can happen.( I can also give the positives, just wait and see)

1) Not disparaging the people who come not from the general quota. Just putting them parallel to others we can make out the difference, in their potential, their ability, their level of thought and their performance at various levels reinstates the same tacit fact.

2) The level of intellectual stimulation, that comes from the group you are a part of, is very important for the overall growth. When a big chunk of the crowd consists of the govt. provided biased privilege students, the others suffer, indirectly.

3) The quality of people graduating goes down, (India is known till recently for it’s quality of maths and science intellect), directly affecting the nations reputation at the international level.

4) With the passing of years, the colleges like IIT and IIM’s will loose out to foreign universities. As brilliant students and even the professors will opt for USA rather than staying back here. For students its not only the curriculum, but the overall development that takes place at these institutes apart from the hefty placements. For professors it’s the joy of teaching and brainstorming with the best brains in the country. When you don’t get this, you don’t enjoy the work.

5) The private sector companies, will recruit people from IIT’s but not all will make it, hence by reducing placement statistics of IIT’s and IIM’s. This is an exponentially growing phenomenon, as the alumni forms a major reason why companies keep coming back to the same campus. The govt. in order to balance it there will have to enforce the same kind of reservation there, and the chain won’t end.

6) The public sector companies the revenue guzzlers of the nation, will become a larger and deeper drain for the deficits.

7) The govt. is simply overlooking the fact that they have not been able to provide the basic education at such a level which makes all equally competent enough to fight it out on the same ground. To hide that, make reservations for all those who did follow what the govt. provided them.

8) Not a single person in school, colleges etc cares about the sirnames, who is who, it is these incidents that create and keep widening the gap..in the favour of national politics.

9) The positive part, for the individuals now in jobs, hold on and work hard for 4 more years. As there will be a deficit of good technical ,and managerial people after the colleges follow this new quota mandate. By the laws of demand and supply, demand will increase with technology, but supply of suitable candidates will decrease. So, all those existing ones will have lots of good opportunities in the coming years. See, that’s the brighter part if you think selfishly….

I still think it’s important to find out why we as in the government should increase the reservation. What has resulted in this (apart from the electoral aspect….which in the bigger picture is of lesser relevance, and a common reason). Like our basic structure, the ground work at the basic level, the quality of teachers and govt/private schools functioning etc..etc. Scholarships is the right way to fill the gap if you think that a certain section is not able to afford education rather quality education and hence needs to be pulled up by certain measures. Look for and you can find alternatives

It is and old saying “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach him how to fish you feed him for his life”. This might succinctly define what I have said above in the loooong lecture.

Kids on the move.

It was a usual Sunday morning and I had expected that it will be a normal, slow paced day with nothing much to do other than sleep and eat while watching some movie.
A phone call can be disastrous at times, the cell-phone operators have given the caller identification facility, they should also innovate a purpose identification thing. If you find the purpose of the person worth attending the call, you have an option else just let go off. This will take time but till then adjusting to the existing luxuries is the only option.
Not to deviate from the topic, a call from my cousins home, after the usual namaste and hello and kaise hain, came the invitation. They had planned to go out somewhere, not decided and wanted me to join. Unable to decide, I thought nothing much to loose other than the sleep, (precious sleep later I realized).So, I joined them.
First thing or the first shock the two little girls “ bhanji and bhatiji” were coming along. No issues, till the point I came to know we were to go to the dolls museum. Now that’s a place where only moms with kids, very small kids, and few stranded chacha’s and mama’s like me come. They make a tremendous effort to sound normal, while explaining the kind of dolls there, most of us ourselves don’t know, even greater is the problem of answering the kids questions not of much relevance like “zambia ke log kale kyon hote hain??” or surrendering to their non stop whims like “ mujhe yeh badi waali sundar doll chahiye, chahiye chahiye..abhi aur abhi?” Accompanied by a constant banging on the glass enclosure. The only way out, you hide yourself with expressions like, whose kids are these, why cant people just keep their kids in control and also with them.
Finally the exit from the dolls museum its around 1300 hrs peak time of heat . Now the next destination is even more terrifying, they want to go to the ZOO. I cursed
1) firstly the govt. for having made one
2) secondly if they had to make it, why the hell did they have to bring in animals there. They were happy in their natural surroundings.
3) Even greater the channels like discovery, nat geo and animal planet that show animals which provocate the children to make such , such stupid demands.
It took about an hour to convince them that the animals will not come out in the sun, it was too hot. The only animal you could see was me “right here right now” the animals also had the option but not me.
Finally the mandate settled down at science center. I had a kind of a mixed reaction. I never had been there, I completed my BE yet never thought I had to go there to see something amazing but the inquisitiveness was always there. The kids gave me that chance. I liked the place and each person should take his kid there when he is in 9th or 10th . I enjoyed being there, the magical tap, gyro suitcase, human biology section , the information revolution etc. Happy we came out, and now hungry .
Went to sweets center tummies filled and now felt like sleeping (food has a total opposite reaction on kids, it gives them an energy boost, an impulse) , the kids wanted to go to the children’s park. A horrible place, dirty , and not worth going but you have to succumb to their wishes. Finally, we went there, had to fight other peoples kids to quickly let our kids enjoy each “jhoola” and move out quickly, for this I know “doosron ke bache aur unke maan baap mujhe gaali denge” Cant do much. So, finally they slept on the way home.
After this exercise (ya it’s an exercise) I came out with a conclusion,

“bache ache hote hain jab tak doosre ke hoon aur unke hi paas hain”

Thursday, 23/03/2006

Not all days are same, neither are all the days all together different. The so called average office going salaried person has nothing much to see, do or experience on every day basis. Life is monotonous, boring yet accepted, yet moving and yet we all would not want to escape from this.
This was just a simple thing i wanted to put forward that whatsoever may come, few things are bound not to change one of them is the way we have led are lives till now and most of us will continue doing that.

After having said this , why is there a mention of a particular day. It started just like a normal day. Me getting up early, drank 4 full glasses of lukewarm water with black salt, then the bath etc etc. Went to office. Things appeared normal, only that i was aware that today my IITB management result will be out. So, kind of nervous a little bit. But suddenly a labourer came running panting and said something that i could not make out. Other than the fact that something needed urgent attention. I was later told that while drilling the basement the mud collapsed and one worker (name i dont know) was burried under it. The foolish contractor in a state of panic asked the earthmover to quickly dig out the person. In a state of panic and hurry the earthmover hit the worker in his ribs . Broke the ribs and made a big bruise there rather a hole. They got him out from there and that is when the person i met in office panting came there.

We were reported that it was difficult for him to survive, yet the managers there could not take a decision what to do. They called up their boss in US for such stupid and trivial issues like, which car to send, is there a wireless set in that car, is the labourer companies or contractors, who all will go and nonsense. It took about and hour before they dispatched him out. He died on the way. I was present all the time. Things that came out from this
1) i am working with incapable managers
2) incapable to the extent that a layman can act better than them in such a situation.
3) they had their own cars not one offered , neither had the guts to go ahead and take control of the situation to save a life. Rather they called up their boss in the US.
4) the HR acted as if he had nothing to do with that. The real son of a bitch he is.
5) for them their bosses command , their job, their vehicle expense is more than the life of a worker who was working for them. Even some unknown roadside dog if found in a bad state is taken care of by the nearby people.This man had and end worse than the dog, ya what else can u say.
6) Not one of them went ahead to give mouth to mouth respiration because he was a low level labourer, his life is of less money than the toothpaste cost, and the mouthwash that they used.The other labourers didnt know how to give mouth to mouth respiration, one reason he could not make it to the hospital.
7) people like the vice president did not even went to have a look they were busy in checking mails, finalising a purchase price etc etc even when he knew what had happened.

These kind of F****** things went on and on. Where was i ?
Initially trying to get knowledge of how, then instructing how to give mouth to mouth and just waiting and watching while abusing the managers and coworkers. I dont know for what reson, could be the fear of losing a job (something that did not come that time) and definintely i dont think this could be the reason, or for the reason that i was a little helpless, or it did not strike that i could forcibly take the car and drive and etc etc. did not strike me. I simply let that man die.
I dont know how to put it, but my job desperation, my limitations put and end to a life. I can not overcome that guilt and neither can i have it come on my face. People say hate is too strong a word to be used, i think i really hate my self for having let this happen.

I have written a resignation letter, but holding on to it till i get another job.The dilema is should i quit right now or hold on the way it is, thinking and accepting that I am not "The one" to change this, as far as i get my salary all is fine. But this can happen to me you or anyone, think about it.

Then came the result of IITB i did not make it. This did upset me but probably not even 1% of the above episode.It shows bad, and good are so very relative things, one thing that was the most important(a career turning point, a years effort etc ) till the minute before the episode did not impact much, rather this incident has made me rethink how to start ahead now on.

Be practical and write back what would you have done had you been there at my place there then and now, on Thursday 23/03/2006.

Is india conservative?

How do you come to know that India is still kind of conservative. Lets try and solve this simple question with even simpler questions or instances, observations which you might have heard or seen at some point of time.

Q1. mummy main kaise paida hua???
A1 beta bhagwan ne bheja.
A2 beta koi baba aaye aur tumhe yahan bahar chod gaye.
A3 yeh bhi koi poochne ki baat hai, chalo jao padhai karo.

In class when biology teacher is teaching reproductory system?
"maam can you please explain once again" as you say this she says "read it you will know". She does not repeat anything, the entire chapter is completed in one go. While this process is on, she is all red, and there is a continuous sound of gigling and hush hush in the class.

When some newly married couple goes for honeymoon, and you happen to ask "arre bhai dulha - dulhan kahan hai" The family responds with utmost simplicity " ji woh to GHOOMNE gaye hain".
The first time a girl calls you up, the time you talk to her just twice of that you have to spend explaining who is she, what for she called up, why did she call YOU up, why not others. By the end of the day more people in your family know about this , than the number of people who know that you still piss in bed.(not me as in some people still might)

All girls in typical indian dresses suits and sarees are welcome with respect mixed with and icing of suspicion. The western clothes clad are scanned from top to bottom (to find what she missed out while buying the dress), compared to some far better bollywood babe and ending with cliche's like "yeh aaj kal ki ladkiyan . pata nahin kya kapde pehneti hain, kya poore kapdon ke jyada paise lagte hain? hamare jamane main kahan aisa hota tha, sharam to bech khayi"

When you have a kid, and people wish you congratulations instead of feeling only great(and macho) and saying thanks you always append it(shyly) with statements like "bhai aapko bhi aakhir aap iske chacha hai ya etc hai"

Then there are instances when you are watching some serial or MTv kinds with your family, suddenly the advertisement comes up of durex, nirodh ks etc. Now no escape, if you have the remote you might change the channel(contradictory to your personal wish, and pray it repeats when all leave), or you just happen to start gazing the floor, roof, bedsheets or something as if suddenly the roof/floor broke off etc . At times you just pick up a conversation and all pretend to get involved with lots of "haan haan, nahin nahin aise kaise etc coupled with head shaking"

You might be of 20+yrs of age still you can not watch 18+ movies on star (now stopped) or other channels which are bold to continue. Neither go for a english romantic movie with the family, you will always be on the edge of your seat, the on screen couple might shoot off anytime. All people entering a hall showing "A" rated movies, look around before they enter the theatre.

Where still people think that "only girls" can be molested or raped the male clan is safe and secure and nothing of such nomenclature can happen to them.

I think lots many things like these will put across the way India thinks (as in the majority). I could get these, see if you can add to it something that you came across.

holi hai......abhi pata laga !!!

India has many good things that makes it stand apart from others, apart from you and me lots of festivals is one good reason. Holi the most recent one gone by.
When staying at home or in a metro, city,town, village or any civilized (as in with people around) you firstly know the right day and date, secondly with lots of people around you know what all to do to enjoy the festival, and even more you actually do it.
When you are away from civilization you miss out on all such things, the beauty of such festivals. It is at such places I realised that my biology teacher was right, man is an animal a social animal.

Right in the desert of rajasthan, i never came to know it was holi till one crew member came by with enought gulal to put tika and not more. Quite similar was the holi in college final year, just that we are a big bunch of hostelers, high on bhang preparing for it 2 days in advance.
It started with a plan to dig a hole in the hostel lawn area, fill it water so that the land becomes mushy and loose. This was the place for so called "herbal holi". The tool to dig, a board pointing towards a sapling reading" this was planted by the director of the college on some date years ago" ( the sapling not there just the board). Pulled it out and we started off.
This ended till evening, then came the preparations for bhang, went to the market could not find it openly. So bought other accessories for "thandai" then asked the mess cook to arrange bhang. he went out and brought fresh from the college back side and showed a lot of it growing there.
Holi morning, no cliched happy holi wishes or good morning, just a knock on the door and as the door opens and before you realise whats up. you are up in the air, people lifting you not for GPL but for the herbal holi bath. You are pushed and rolled and kicked and mud forced to all places you can think of, while this is on only try to save your underwear so that it does not come off, many couldn't do that.
After all have had a good face and body herbal pack, the entire group marched to the girls hostel singing the all time hits, rang barse and aaj na chodenge etc. The boys forced open the main gate but could not move ahead so in the lawns started a typical hindi film holi. With a bunch of freaked out unrecognizable, drunk and mentally unstable due to bhang, shouting dancing and throwing eggs colour on the girls standing in the 1st floor balcony, the girls reciprocating equally with enthu.
This ended with a stint with all bhang ppl having a meeting and the leader our narender tau delivering a multitopic, multilingual, nonstop, uninterrupted speech for more than an hour.
Now thats holi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saadi hai re......

A few days back I attended my friend ke bhai ki marriage. The whole process of planning started two days rather 4 days before. I got a call from her she said that she wanted us to come over for two functions…Ladies sangeet and ofcourse the marriage. The latter was expected but the former was shocking, it put me into doubt if they doubted my being a male…the good part was all friends (male as per my parameters) were invited. It, was a relief that I was still the same, so we decided to refrain from it. That was important for us, in future we also had to get married!!!!!!!!!!.

Next day, morning gave a call to friends ..bhai kab jaane ka hai?? Tonight at 9.30 pm. Ok. After a hectic , sweaty day I somehow managed to get some time to change (yet no time for bath, good the angrezi chamdi made deodorants). I am kind of averse to wearing the suits my attire most comfortable jeans and shirt (formal on top, casual below the waist….now don’t get weird ideas). Went to Ankit’s place where we all decided to meet, and headed for the venue( I didn’t even know where it was, just the thought of free food and khulla dance attracted me there). We reached there met an old friend after about 7yrs or so, he had changed as we all had, with small and cute little tummies hanging from the tightly strapped belts, making it larger and more visible. The usual salutations, accompanied by the traditional four letter lingo.

As soon as we entered I headed for what I had come, FOOD. My friends asked me to control myself, as people were watching, moreover we had not met the bride and the groom and neither paid for (GIFTS !!!, amazing this is the only place where you pay in advance, other than self service restaurants) the food. So, straight I headed towards them with quick steps said congrats and the photographer requested for the usual group photograph. I was made to stand in the center with a 1000 watt halogen glowing below the feet behind my back. The photograph will be wonderful with a aura like the gods surrounding me, just that it would be shifted from the head (in god’s case) to the pelvic region in my case ( the gods talent and my talent differ, makes me realize again I am human).

Then the party time, all stalls tasted and tested, variety was abundant, yes of the food and the hosts. Lovely people, they were busy in the wedding and we were busy filling are already hanging tummies.

I don’t know what others think of but for me weddings (of others) are about, superficial hello’s and hi’s, party , photographs , dance and a natural bye.

Traditional...yes I am.

There was this post that talked about traditions, why do we follow them when we don’t have any “logic” for doing it. I don’t know if I will be able to convince you, definitely thats not the motive, but surely I will try and put across as to what I think about the same. Or why I feel certain “things” as in why “traditions” are followed.
Before I go ahead with anything I know that the generation today (that’s me included) will not just take anything without a reason, a rational logic as to “why this/that”. I rather see it in a different view, if I don’t know/understand something that does not mean that is wrong, rather I have not met somebody who can actually explain those things to me. Till then on this basis, if I feel the person who has earlier been following it is sensible and has had no harm if not any visible gain from it, I follow it.

1) People pray to God everday, many might not pray yet believe in God. I personally feel there is no “entity” as God, it is just a thought. The point is why was there a need to do so.
If today I tell my younger brother have faith in me I am there with you all the time, and go ahead and do this/that anything. The outcome is my brother will do whatever he may be doing with confidence, with the feeling that “bhai hai na koi chinta nahin sab theek hoga”. Many years from now no matter how far he may be, he might not have met me for years but he still has that faith in me. If now a slight twist to it, if I had told him its only when you do things that are right , right as in the way I perceive them to be, it is only then I am with you. Result he would only do those things with me in mind as a support that I have listed are right, rest he will think twice before taking a step ahead. Similar, is the case with God.
There might be hazaar things that you and I might feel why we or others have to do it like its being done. This feeling that there is somebody who is keeping a watch, somebody who I have not seen not most of the world has seen (but some body who is preaching him knows the so called GOD better than me), but the faith that he is there till I do the right things boosts confidence, never lets me down, gives me an optimistic approach to life, ability to gather courage to fight again and again with the same passion after every defeat, that one day when all is perfect according to “him” I will definitely win.

1) If by just accepting that God might exist, and I am not sure of this
because of my ignorance my lack of the complete picture, brings about
such a positive change in me I will now and always accept that.

2) On the part of the society it somehow brings down the crime graph. With the fear that
somebody is watching and I will have to pay for it someday,most of us are prevented
from that ugly begining.

3) Why to do that early morning, it was not only early morning but as you call it the 3-5
Am time or “Brahma Muhurat” as you call it. Reson being that is the best time to get
up ,remember early to bed early to rise, fresh air, serenity, total calmness, before sun-
rise so that you are able to absorb the first rays of the sun that are good for your body,
the hymns and the sound of brass has a pleasant effect (the sonic vibrations) on the body.
4) You get some time for yourself early morning to, more time to work during the
daylight (earlier there was no electricity). Even today and in coming times it holds
relevance, in europe people shift clocks by an hour to work in daylight and save energy,
it is good to save electricity….i think atleast that does not need an explanation.

2) Their were certain customs born or rather made, they did not exist as part of the ancient literature that gave most of the customs. Like this one of daughter-in-law washing her mother-in-law’s feet and thereafter drinking that water, they were an outcome of the want to impose the dominance of the mother-in-law coz of ….( this I can not explain the ladies know it better). Today all this has changed, firstly the broad viewpoint due to education, rise of nuclear families and other things. So, you can not put them in traditons they should definitely be opposed. But learn the lesson before doing that, respect your “SAAS” atleat for her being elder, having seen more life, and your man’s mother.

3) Sirname change, earlier there were small families and ladies were mostly house wife’s. Their identity was, their father before marriage and their man after marriage. People knew each other by their sirnames, ghosh babu ke bache, aggarwal sahab ki maan, etc etc..So, to keep things simple change the sirname so that you can identify the family simply by the sirname. Secondly, the confusion to their children what to keep is obviated. Other wise it will be like Mr X. ahuja her wife Mrs.Y. negi. Son of Mr. ahuja and daughter of Mrs. Negi. How doubtful!!!!!

4) Sindoor and magalsutra that were just an identification to differentiate married and prospective girls. At all times the male species has been manchala, but earlier they respected this bond of marriage and only eyed the others. Today it makes no difference neither to the males, females, married, many times married, single, not married but double etc etc species that are here nowadays.

5) As far as stepping on a book and touching your forhead and your chest and murmuring forgiveness. I just will ask you to do one thing forget that you have to do such things just for 6 months don’t do it. After six months you would never do it. They are not meant to prove that you respect the book but to reinstate and that you don’t forget that they have to be respected. When you respect them you will take care of the book that will be handled well ( I don’t know about most ppl but as a result of not having this habit most of my engineering books are in a bad state, I feel bad having not taken care of them). When you respect something somebody you feel what they say, or what is written in them is right and to be followed . That is what the custom wanted to convey, read them, handle them well so they are your companions for long.

6) As far as non-vegetarianism I would say change your food habits only if you believe in what you are doing is right, rather than it being a forced one. Just take a look when a fresh chicken, lamb or pig from the time it is ready to be slaughtered, to the time it is skinned and then decide would you like to have that even when you have other options. I wont argue much on this but as far as my knowledge base is concerned I know that vegetarian food is
healthier, people live longer and healthier see your grandpa-grandma.
Some might ask why to keep fasts, why to eat a particular thing as
recommended on a particular day and so on. Our body does not need the
amount of food we eat, in order to remain fit the body needs to detoxify
and so somedays we need to keep a fast. Why certain days,or certain
things after regular intervals, it is only the psycological effect that we
start feeling hungry each day at almost the same time because we start
thinking “yaar khana nahin khaya” . In short all these are just like a
doctors prescription in disguise of customs, try to follow and you wont
need to diet I assure you.

I follow all of these and will till I find a reason not to do so, if that defines me as traditional I am without doubt.

galti ho gayi..

Just recently I went to college for my convocation, a year later, during this period a new batch had entered which did not recognize us. While in college our group was one of those groups that went up on stage and spoke just anything about girls, not obscene but not so appreciating too. Now, one of this fresh sundar , provocative, kanyamaal who had a lot of, so called attitude, saw us staring her (we did that all the time) she just came and
hadka diya humko. Then this is what followed...

Mijaz sambhalo apna, ae husn ki mallika ;
Raja hoon main is mohalle is gali ka.
Bado se seekho, izzat karo hamari;
Poocho unse jo hamare prakop se guzari hain saari.
Jab hum apna moonh kholte the to who kaanpti thi;
Aaj unka number na ho, yahi dua mangti thi.
Main to kuch bhi nahin , mera ek yaar hai;
Bunnu naam hai uska, use har sundar kanya se pyar hai.
Shukra karo uska dil tum par nahin aaya;
Jis par aaya, who kanya kam uska premi jyada pachtaya.
Rang uska hai shri Krishna jaisa;
Personality wise hai yamraj ka bhainsa.
Khushi ho ya gam, uska kaam hai bas maarna;
Privately thodi kam, publicaly khul ke sabki utarna.
Ek prani “Gadre” hai, jisne uska bura kiya;
Char saal wali ko paanch saal ki degree bana diya.
Who bas abhi thodi der main yahan aayega;
Is baar rehersal karega, agli baar degree le jaayega.
Isliye, tum dono baar, usse bach ke rehna;
Maine agah nahin kiya tha, phir na kehna.
Itna kehna tha ki usne zor se ghoora;
Hamain laga aaj to time ho gaya poora.
Tabhi hamar Hero, hamar “Man all Black” aa gaya;
Aisa laga, jaise khule maidan main kutte ko khamba pa gaya.
Usne kanya ke virodh main aisa sur lagaya;
Ladies army ka poora dal ghabraya.
Kanya dheere dheere apna dhairya khone lagi;
Seham gayi,sehsa subak subak kar rone lagi.
Ehsaas hua hamne galat taar ched diye,
Maafi ke pose main dono haath jod liye.
Bole pata nahin kaise form main aa gaye galti hui,
Aap achi lagti hain, humse door chalti hui.
Chali jaiye isse pehle ki yahan bawaal ho jaye,
Kahin home grounds main ijjat na chali jaye.
Kaan pakd liye aisa episode dubara nahin karenge,
College tha to bach gaye bahar pucca marenge.
Tum sab bhi suno, aisa kuch mat kar dena,
Karo to kanya ke rone se pehle kat lena.

dhanyavad

lekhak
aapka apna gaurav

Rang De Basanti !!!!!

I can give you a list of films that I feel have had the same kind of impact, a déjà vu of patriotism. Rather a sense of helplessness of not being able to do anything and watching it all happen, yet always a part of the crowd which has opinions. Opinions that are never in the affirmative in context of the politicians, definitely pessimistic about the future of the nation, and unsure of what we want to do with our lives.
Swades
Lakshya
Rang de basanti
Hazaar khwaishen aisi
Yuva

There might be many more such movies but these are the recent ones .I think all those who visit this blog just take out some time, from your not so busy schedule and watch these films. The feeling is different for all but with the common root that I/We are not doing anything to improve the present.

Rightly said by Aamir in RDB “ hamari ek taang kal par hai aur ek taang future par isliye toh hum aaj par muut rahe hain”.
This was one dialogue that I think summarizes the state of all of us.
The politician is there to bank on anything that might have taken place decades back but he will not let those wounds heal. Can be anything from the 1984 riots, to trvial questions like Was jinnah secular? Arre what the F*** what effect does it have on you , your way of functioning, your thought process. Neither does it affect me the person who made the mistake of placing you there. These oldies are stuck up there, some have made a graceful exit likes of vajpayee. This is the cartel that has one foot in the past and other in the “kabar”.

The others are like us, the youth of today. They have just one thing on their minds I have to be something, someone successful tomorrow. I don’t say that wrong but what comes along with this thought is that this dream cannot be fulfilled staying in India. And even if they stay in India they need to be some software professional, or some actor and singer..etc etc. Who is a part of the system till everything goes smoothly , and smoothly means till anything that directly affects him does not happen. Even when it does he will read it in the newpaper hear it on AAJ TAK kinds sabse tez channels and back to office. Discuss sophisticatedly WHAT will happen, and waiting for some kind a miracle or superhero to flip the existing state. Mostly it does not happen because all who can do it wait for somebody other than them to do it. So, in the end “sab thoda adjust kar lete hain, yehi karte aaye hain aur yehi karte rahenge”. Why because I don’t know what will happen even if I give up my job, the system wont change. And I am sure it wont until we don’t take the onus of doing it.

Join politics, civil services , IPS , Army and many such options..it is due to less numbers that things don’t change. These numbers are low so either they submit to the system or they are killed. This affects directly who want to join, with reasons as “uska kya hua, who to acha aadmi THA”. This forms a kind of a vicious circle and the right point to break it is where it all starts.
And because of this attitude of ours the only thing we are able to do and are good at is to crib about our present.

“yeh jo dar hain , kya hoga, main haar gaya to, yeh sirf tab tak jab tak main us andar ki awaaz ko nahin sunta ya sunna nahin chahta. Jis din wo haavi ho jaayegi us din yeh dar bhi khatam ho jaayega, hamesha hamesha ke liye, kyonki samajh aa jayega ki is koshish main kabhi main haar nahin sakta. Jeet to nischit hai sawal bas itna hai ki ya to yeh mere samne hogi ya mere baad, par hogi zaroor.”

Kavi ki phir se koshish!!!!!

After Ramu’s James flopped on the box office (he had not expected that) , in state of depression he decided to make something that was liked by all. Mythology was something that caught his interest, so he ventured out to make “Modern Mahabharat (not Mahabharata) “. The problem was he had to find characters, where in people could relate/recognize them i.e known personalities. They should be real life characters. He started with bollywood and due to the dearth of actors he searched for them in the parliament. So, this is how it goes….as usual in HINGLISH ( Hindi written in English)…

James flop hone ke baad Ramu ko vichar aaaya;
Usne modern Mahabharat banane ka beeda uthaya .
Bola character wahi hoga jo original type lagega;
Shuruat ki mithun da se, voh dhritrashtra ke liye jamega.
Use dikhta nahin; ki uski film koi nahin dekhta;
Phir bhi khud banata, kharidta aur bechta hai.
Amitabh ko bhishm pitamah ka role dena padega;
Wahi ek hai jo sattar(70) ki umar main bhi action karega.
Dharam paaji bane bheem aur Sunny ghatotkatch bana;
Panchali ke role ke liye, ready for such roles, mallika ko chuna.
Emran hashmi ko kaamdev ka cameo diya;
Aur uski choice se udita ko as Mainka liya.
Is prakar Jyadatar +ve character bhar gaye;
Sirf –ve role aur “Shikhandi” reh gaye;
Is khoj main sansad ki or kadam badaye;
Darwaaze par hi kai shikhandi nazar aaye.
Frame main left ka neta fit baithta hai;
Kehta hai support hai par har mudde par congress ki laga deta hai.
Achanak sansad main shor machne laga;
Sabko Dushasan ka role hot lagne laga.
Ramu ne Draupadi urf Mallika ki safety ka khayal kiya;
Cheer-haran ka kaam “brahmachari” Vajpayee ji ko diya.
Aur jiski “jangha” chaudi hogi, voh Duryodhan banega;
Phir to Draupadi ko baithane ka subhagya Amar Singh ko milega.
Dayanidhi maran ne INDIA-ONE ka ashvasan diya;
Local call main kaam hoga, isliye use Sanjay bana diya.
Jo din main gayab, raat main dikhe, use Jarasandh banaiye,
Gawli ya Shahbuddin, main se kisi ko pakad laiye.
Jo pet main seekha, ab tak usi ke bal par chal raha tha;
Isliye Abhimanyu ke liye Rahul jam raha tha.
Jin mahapurushon ke dar se opposition ne satta chod di;
Aise, Lalu, Mayawati or Mulayam ko kaurav sena ki bagdoor di.
Mata Sonia ko Kunti aur shriman Manmohan ko Karan banaya;
Ek female aur uske “ehsaan” se daba male,aur joda mil nahin paya.
Sansad bhavan ko Kurushetra banaya;
Aur ek saal philm banane main lagaya.
Kuch dekhne gaye, baakiyon ne film chalane ka paisa diya;
Agle kai saal baad ka ticket advance main liya.
Bole isko superhit banana majboori hai;
Neta ki asliyat saamne lana jaroori hai.
Yadi hum yeh trend ulat kar aisa bana paye;
Jahan neta parde ka abhineta ban jaye.
Toh jald hi sansad inse mukt ho jayega;
Bharat ko phir navoday ka ek mauka mil payega,
phir ek mauka mil payega.

Dhanyavad.

Lekhak
gaurav

Sex ratio...is it imp.???

The figures (not the 36-24-36 ones… they are no more, 24-24-24 is whats available everywhere) show that there is a decline in sex –ratio within a few years and severely in Punjab reaching to 780’s. This has led to a whole lot of problems, not visible till you are about to search for a girl to marry. As usual our bollywood has encashed upon it through a wonderful film “Matrabhoomi”( the producer might not have got much returns, but hats off for the effort the team put in to put forth a future calamity).
Guys looking for girls, with girls as scarce as …..clothes on guys in boys hostels, in summers.This is what is the situation as of now, if somehow the NGO’s are able to reverse the situation.Govt. I doubt can do that …if they try to then leaders like Lalu get a chance to increase the inhouse population. If NGO's are able to do it then what all can take place.
If the ratio is critical with even greater disparity than in Punjab…then the morning
news -papers and the news will be full of stories like..

1) Even heavy names like, Gajraj Singh, gangraped in broad daylight in a moving open gypsy in Delhi. Delhi not safe anymore for men with statitcs giving numbers of rapes in the current month, last quarter and the year till then.
2) Guys will be advised to wear full sleeve shirts, no low rise jeans and avoid dressing provocatively to avoid attracting attention of passer byes.
3) Always keep pepper sprays and swiss knifes just in case you are fortunate to be pestered only by one blonde. Delhi police will give personal protection training to men.
4) Don’t go around late in the night, always take the busy roads where street lights are working.
5) Don’t go alone , always drive with windows shut and if possible not tainted.
6) In discos be careful of the crowd and especially of girls who try to be overfriendly, that might be a trap ..do I need to say for what.
7) In schools (everybody experiences this only that I am putting it down) if the teacher for biology is a male, all guys will be listeining expression less, with smirks and giggles from the female species. The teacher is a little embarrassed and his face is all red, praying nobody should put up a question especially from the topics of reproductory systems.
8) In colleges girls will always be inquisitve about what goes around in the Boys hostels.
9) Boys hostels will be converted into a fort, with restricted time entries and females guards guarding the doors outside.
10) On occasions especially like holi…girls breaking the doors to come and play holi with guys ,locked and hurled inside the fort, heavily guarded by females.
11) Engineering college girls banging their heads “ yaar yeh kya class ratio hai 100:10 saala stephens ya hindu main hote to sahi tha, kaam se kaam maal to bhara rehta. Pura DU saath hota aram se aankhen sekte.. hat saala engineering main toh life ka kaand ho gaya.
12) All guys getting good marks from lady teachers, the topper will be a guy, and a definite job, with companies like TCS, HSS picking up all those who come to them.
13) In discos no fag entry for females, males allowed, so girls waiting to ask if somebody could accompany them while they pay for you.
14) Call centers giving out rules no first pick up and last drop for guys, they have to be with a girl, the lady driver might cause him harm.
15) Politicians winning elections by promising to raise the issue of reservation for men in all fields (they would be the oppressed ones when in minority.)
16) In remote areas, one guy being married off to all 2 or 3 or more sisters when scarcity is high.
And hazaar other things like that will happen .. give a thought, especially the guys, are you willing to have the world like that…think deeply .. power of imagination is the key to decide if this is right or not...So, enjoy dreaming.

Is it flowing upwards-3!!

The fourth phase.... (you might feel kya Gita type adhyay likh raha hai, but that was best i could think of)
Joined not the best but a good company in oil sector, paid well , worked in Assam and Tripura for a year. Beautiful place, lovely people and a wonderful experience. The day I got a job that was one ineffable moment of life. I was one of those last 20 people out of 350+ in college to get a job, I and even my friends never thought the placemet phase would be that bad for me, this made it even more precious. I had really bad experiences during the placement phase,I confess i reached a level where i was desperate to get a job. But bhagwan saath they.. sab guzar gaya.

Soon I joined the company. Life was fun, but as it happens with all when put into a new place you are totally perplexed as to what to do and how to do, result being a total black out. In that phase I thought the work was not worth, and started preparing for CAT( the billi is a dream of many, for some it is majboori due to situations...I am the hybrid variety). My managers felt i was not doing my job with dedication as i was preparing for mgmt (it was not justified on their part because I was fully dedicated to the company's work and only in free time, if i got and i rarely got that, i studied). Yet they felt so and asked me to resign, rather than they investing on me.They found it would be a better option (the fact was they thought by this they would frighten me and i would give up....par hum bhi date rahe). I felt once you are the sore of the eye for some reason it is difficult to actually perform, not because it's tough but because then you are the underdog who is desperate to stay lest they might throw you out, your mistakes are labelled as blunders and achievements shared etc. ... etc. Their strategy failed, I resigned ,this came as an unexpected event.... then they came up with things like , lollipops as we call them, promotions, study leave and etc...etc.
There is a saying people leave managers not companies .. that was the case here and I didnt want to go there .. i liked many things but when your management is a pain in the ass, it is difficult to obviate that for long..(waise bhi purani kahavat hai... thook ke chata to ijjat kahan bachi). I took a major decision to prepare for MBA, without a job, I stayed for 3 months and put in a lot under tremedous pressure with nothing to fall back on .. but somehow it did not work... Somewhere during the preparation phase and all those mock tests i gave i realised I am still far far behind. I need to take up a job as a backup which I might need soon. TCS came as a respite for that time. Not much work was there I gave my exams. Result was bad and even the TCS experience. Got an offer from Focus oil and joined it. This is a new company, setup by an Indian who once failed in Phoenix shoes. Underpaid less of many things ... and yet the only option, coz TCS cannot take me anywhere.
While in TCS i was willing to join any MBA college upto B-grade but when i got this offer i am really not able to decide what to do..difficult situation. I have a few options of IITB , IMT, IMI and if possible in future also... on the other hand this company with an entirely new setup no experience in oil and a very small fish amongst the oil sharks.
Lets see what happens, after all this episode few lessons learnt. When others preach listen but analyse from your perspective. eg. most said CAT can be cleared by 3 mnths of prepartion, they did it coz they actually put in 3 months fully and atleast 9 months earlier superficially. So, for people like me 1 year minimum, advice for all.
Next, never quit a job without something in hand, my friends cleared CAT without quitting the job, devoting less time. So, in the end it appears that " I am an even bigger duffer, stupid and all possible antonyms of words like sensible and intelligent". And even worse is the feeling to ask for money when you can actually earn yourself, from anybody. So,dont do this.
After having reached this stage there is still the big question mark. Am i actually progressing after having quit/left/rejected/not offered/failed in so many events in life. Is my career my life flowing upwards or has it taken the downward flow or stagnated.. Difficult to make out. But hope with determination to fight drives me .. "I will never ever be a part of the worst in any field, I will always strive for a better tomorrow whatever the results may be. Rest i leave it to God. If I cannot judge for my self, only he can for me."
I wrote this trilogy for my self, unlike other blogs, so just this is simply the life and thoughts of a Bucolic.

Is it flowing upwards -2???

In continuation to the last tragedies.....
Third phase Kulachi Hansraj, typical delhi ka school. In boarding people dont care for what they wear how and what they eat. But here it came as a blow to me. All smartly dressed and each had some not so good etiquette of doing things, everything. But even major shock was that I was put into a Co-ed school, straight from a Boys only boarding,(till then out of the not knowns, the only girls i had seen were babes from Welhams, Lawerence (Sanawar), Sharon stone in BI and lots of skimply clad blondes), now you can make out my mental state. I went into virtual coma, didnt speak much, always was conscious about things.Guys thought yeh to champu hai. But bhaiya aisa nahin karte to kaand ho jaata isliye aise hi theek the kaam chal raha tha. I shot to fame with my merit in school, accompanied by few extra-currics( yehi hain jisne bacha rakha hai). Made good rather very good friends, still in contact. By the time i reached 10th i had recovered from the "girl-shock" and felt better. Till the time School was over i had all experiences that you can think of.Just a confession never made it publicaly.Lots of crushes from actresses to lots of batchmates bas poocho mat yaar kanya ki bharmar dekh dimag ghoom gaya tha. Time to select a stream in 11th. Papa said you shouldnt do commerce, arts was considered a low grader thing, after having spent time with medics i didnt want to do medical, So the only choice was non-med. Lots of friends were taking it so thought nice company and joined the stream. In all the relevant exams in 11th & especially in comp. sc could not get more than borderline. Failed all through out in 12th. No probs yet tried for IIT. (see the level of optimistm). Boards did full-full cheating passed wonderfully. IIT no cheating lag gayi lanka. Finally NSIT ECE got through.
Third phase , people said ECE is good comp was best. Comp i never could understand in school so took ECE. My decisions have always been a result of public opinion poll or sheer elimination of choices with the best being what my friends opt for. Bas chal pade, apna hua apne doston ka nahin hua, kya karte. This has been just like my earlier boarding phase but a far better one made better friends, no girlfriends but all ladies knew isse bach ke rehna. College stay couldnt help me much in acads but it helped me bring out and hone my other side, as an orator, theatre person, and a writer. Which I love and all those who like me also love it (at least they say so). Again ab tak ka sabse bada kanya paksh ka jhatka college main laga, liked many beauties not said anything ,as usual. But amongst of all these I found one, she has been the best lady I have ever met in real life, i admire her and now the line of comparison has set the threshold there. Nothing less than or similar to her. She was a beauty with simplicity and wonderful brains , a rare combo. In acads I made it with disasters got a suppli in Electronics (my branch core) yet only wanted a job in Electronics Hardware( again optimism, optimism ki to factory lagi hui hai khatam hi nahin hota) nobody took me so joined an oil company.

Is it flowing upwards-1??

Once there was a time when you were a student, I am not talking about people in their PG courses. When we all are in school or atmost a undergraduate college. Life is fun, no worry no hurry just going on, taking a not so known path.Yet we know that its heading upwards, the right direction as most of us would have wanted it to be. Then comes the time when you step into the corporate world. I dont know what others went through I'll write what has happened with me till now, rather i will try and put down in phases how have events taken place from the time i used to piss in my nappies...
9th june 1982 I thought of taking avtar my mom and dad thought it was a wonderful day but they did'nt realize what they will go through after this momentary joy. The ,then not so young people, now tell me i was real good looking the typical gol-mol bacha and everybody would want to play with me. That is the golden time when you only need to cry to get anything.
The first signs of my weirdness, people usually suckle their right thumb but i was different, sucking my toes. Secondly, never stopped crying, during one of my bua's marriage, i i was given sleeping pills as soon as i woke up so that all can continue to work ab junta kehti hai nasha kyon karte ho, arre bachpan main gharwalon ne adat dal di ab kaise chod dein.
Thoda bada hua about school age 3yrs went to Three dots school, again problem only thing I did in class, sleep and snore. Very difficult to pass in the lower classes. Then one day god thought ab iska time aa gaya (jaane ka nahin re , sudharne ka). Chacha chaudhary ke mafiq mere pitaji ki dimag ka bulb jal gaya, bole Dehradun main padoge. Maine socha maan ki mataji ki mar se bachna hai to haan kar do, bas poori mundi hila di, gale lag gaya pitaji ke jaise ki unhone bal-vivah ki soochna de di ho.
Second phase shuru hua "Col.Brown School" Dehradun, boarding tha. All the good things that any of you find whenever we meet, all courtsey my alma mater, the wonderful teachers rather mentors. I am the way I am because there my personality was moulded to be like this. Full masti , sports , extra-curriculars not much studies. They emphasised on extra-currics more, I was good at dramatics, debates any oration, music, painting learnt it all, an average sportsperson and good at studies. People knew me(either good or bad) but lots of them could make out Gaurav ( rather kaddu as they called me) from the crowd. Things are not that good as they look, you know Geminis have a dual personality. The twin side surfaced when I stabbed a compass right into the stomach of a guy in a fit of anger. Fortunately, the guy did not end up with serious injuries , he was so fat the force was not enought to let the compass penetrate very deep. But I was bashed severly, I thought saale ka kuch hua nahin meri lag gayi, yeh bhi koi baat hai.
Boarders get a severe thrashing, murga bana kar hockey se on your bum and many other innovative ways not to be written here. Life was ultimate fun. Till 7th std. I was there then I took a shift to Delhi ( I still think that was not a good decision, it did have its pros and cons yet ..)

Spitbin.

Just think of a day when somebody (take for eg. Mr. Frenchie) just came into your house and spit(full of the phlegm) on you. What would you do?? Now if i said that if that same Mr. Frenchie went about finding the most unhygenic and unclean person around. A person living a life no less than a dog who sleeps and feeds on the road, bathes only on holi and diwali, works 18hrs a day in hot,humid and sweaty conditons but never changes his clothes. If Mr. Frenchie spits on him what would be his reaction? I dont think it would be any different from yours, the act of Frenchie might have made you think "what the hell does he think of himself and of course of me, am i a spitbin." Why would Mr. unhygenic feel the same, because it is not that it made you dirty or him dirtier but the fact it hurt the self-respect (Swabhiman, as you say in Hindi) in both you and Mr. Unjygenic.
No matter how each human being may live or die, whether he may eat or sleep hungry what is of utmost importance to him is to live with self-respect. Par vats yeh ghor kalyug hai, prabhu ne ek aisi hybrid ko janam diya hai jisme bachane layak swabhiman bhi baaki nahi raha, NETA, POLITICANS.
They will go to any extent if you stuff them with money. They have again proved this by tacitly declaring India as a dumping yard, a spitbin by allowing the French to send in their Clemenceau the French ship, at Alang in Gujarat. Ministry of environment may say it is not hazardous, they are the only ones to say that. Everybody knows the facts , the French also but yet our Environmet ministry wont accept it. Bhaiya jab andar ka environment hi itna ghatiya hai to phir bahar ka kharab hone se unhe kya farak padta hai.

These people are least bothered, for them its either losing out business to China and Bangladesh, or getting business (over and under the desk) at the cost of lives of hundreds of workers at yard(directly) and the contamination of water and land resulting in (indirectly) loss of human and wildlife around the area.

It is this act of these people, to whom the aam-admi gave the power the right to take decisions on his behalf, has led to the suffering , physical and even worse mental. It is they who think India is a spit-bin, a MCD ka kachre ka dabba, if that is so then we are the people living here and so we are no less than the pig who sleeps, eats and dies there in the garbage. It is here our self-respect, the nations pride is hurt when our people give the right to strangers to just walk by and spit, shit in our house and on us.
Hats-Off to Greenpeace for their efforts to stop this. I dont have much to say for this organization, they really are the ones working for a better tomorrow. I would request all those who read this to visit "www.greeenpeace.org" to really know about them. They are working for us so mostly they are against the government (govt. is rarely in favour of common junta, we all know that) so that can not ask, neither do they expect aid from the government. They collect funds from us to protest on behalf of us for us. So kindly see if you can help them by being a volunteer or giving donations starting from as small as 150/pm ( just the cost of one pizza at pizza hut, you should sacrifice this one pizza for a better life). This meagre amount will help you live with self-respect and the feeling that you are doing something for your motherland INDIA.

Words not spoken .

Have you ever thought over for a moment that when was the last time you said to your mom/dad/sis/bro/friend etc " I love you." For most of us it might be difficult, we might have said the same to somebody else, like about you family to your friend. But never straight to the person. Some of us might not have given a thought also,that if it ever needs to be spoken.
Why is it so,why is it so difficult or what makes it so.The only resons i could find were because people think these words were trivial, or self-implied or just for no reason at all . They never thought that they have to say such words.
lets take for example when your sister/brother is going for studies or any other venture to some distant place .You are there to say good bye wish him/her luck and pray for his well being. The heart is pounding palpitations are slightly faster than normal, some kind of an aura of sadness surrounds for no reason you can make out and the last thing that happens is you never utter the words "good-bye," you are speechless and only wave your hand and the eyes do the rest.
A guy would rarely go to a girl and say you look beautiful, if he says that there is a sense of flirting, but if he keeps mum and only the look would do it all.
There are many examples and even more situations where we have kept quiet. I personally feel this is because when the emotions are intense words can never do justice to the expression but its the silence with the look the gaze the eyes that say it all. The great people say when the body is unable to contain the emotions, it is important to speak out.But i feel the speech will only make the expression trivial only 10% (or a little more) of what you feel can be put forth by way of speech.
ill try and put down certain situations briefly where you just think if you did the same..
1) going away far off for the first time you never said good bye only waved full of emotions...
2) never said anything when you were kissed for the first time ( if not forcibly) .
3) never said that heys i love you a lot to your loved one just kept quiet or just shook your head.
4) When caught guilty of a crime you never uttered a word in acceptance but only lowered your eyes.
5) when bereaved of a loved one (a person very very close) you never went out howling , just stayed there staring at the body and tears trickling down your cheeks..
6) when you achieved something or some event that was a big achievement that made you extremely happy you never uttered anything more than "thanks" for the applause, just stayed there amidst the crowd without reactions,blank.
These and many other situations are there that show that the things spoken are not what matter , rather they are not the ones that define turning moments. Its the time when you didnt or rather you couldnt speak that had a impact on your life. That brought about these changes in you. That made you what you are today.