The fourth phase.... (you might feel kya Gita type adhyay likh raha hai, but that was best i could think of)
Joined not the best but a good company in oil sector, paid well , worked in Assam and Tripura for a year. Beautiful place, lovely people and a wonderful experience. The day I got a job that was one ineffable moment of life. I was one of those last 20 people out of 350+ in college to get a job, I and even my friends never thought the placemet phase would be that bad for me, this made it even more precious. I had really bad experiences during the placement phase,I confess i reached a level where i was desperate to get a job. But bhagwan saath they.. sab guzar gaya.
Soon I joined the company. Life was fun, but as it happens with all when put into a new place you are totally perplexed as to what to do and how to do, result being a total black out. In that phase I thought the work was not worth, and started preparing for CAT( the billi is a dream of many, for some it is majboori due to situations...I am the hybrid variety). My managers felt i was not doing my job with dedication as i was preparing for mgmt (it was not justified on their part because I was fully dedicated to the company's work and only in free time, if i got and i rarely got that, i studied). Yet they felt so and asked me to resign, rather than they investing on me.They found it would be a better option (the fact was they thought by this they would frighten me and i would give up....par hum bhi date rahe). I felt once you are the sore of the eye for some reason it is difficult to actually perform, not because it's tough but because then you are the underdog who is desperate to stay lest they might throw you out, your mistakes are labelled as blunders and achievements shared etc. ... etc. Their strategy failed, I resigned ,this came as an unexpected event.... then they came up with things like , lollipops as we call them, promotions, study leave and etc...etc.
There is a saying people leave managers not companies .. that was the case here and I didnt want to go there .. i liked many things but when your management is a pain in the ass, it is difficult to obviate that for long..(waise bhi purani kahavat hai... thook ke chata to ijjat kahan bachi). I took a major decision to prepare for MBA, without a job, I stayed for 3 months and put in a lot under tremedous pressure with nothing to fall back on .. but somehow it did not work... Somewhere during the preparation phase and all those mock tests i gave i realised I am still far far behind. I need to take up a job as a backup which I might need soon. TCS came as a respite for that time. Not much work was there I gave my exams. Result was bad and even the TCS experience. Got an offer from Focus oil and joined it. This is a new company, setup by an Indian who once failed in Phoenix shoes. Underpaid less of many things ... and yet the only option, coz TCS cannot take me anywhere.
While in TCS i was willing to join any MBA college upto B-grade but when i got this offer i am really not able to decide what to do..difficult situation. I have a few options of IITB , IMT, IMI and if possible in future also... on the other hand this company with an entirely new setup no experience in oil and a very small fish amongst the oil sharks.
Lets see what happens, after all this episode few lessons learnt. When others preach listen but analyse from your perspective. eg. most said CAT can be cleared by 3 mnths of prepartion, they did it coz they actually put in 3 months fully and atleast 9 months earlier superficially. So, for people like me 1 year minimum, advice for all.
Next, never quit a job without something in hand, my friends cleared CAT without quitting the job, devoting less time. So, in the end it appears that " I am an even bigger duffer, stupid and all possible antonyms of words like sensible and intelligent". And even worse is the feeling to ask for money when you can actually earn yourself, from anybody. So,dont do this.
After having reached this stage there is still the big question mark. Am i actually progressing after having quit/left/rejected/not offered/failed in so many events in life. Is my career my life flowing upwards or has it taken the downward flow or stagnated.. Difficult to make out. But hope with determination to fight drives me .. "I will never ever be a part of the worst in any field, I will always strive for a better tomorrow whatever the results may be. Rest i leave it to God. If I cannot judge for my self, only he can for me."
I wrote this trilogy for my self, unlike other blogs, so just this is simply the life and thoughts of a Bucolic.
