Is it flowing upwards -2???

In continuation to the last tragedies.....
Third phase Kulachi Hansraj, typical delhi ka school. In boarding people dont care for what they wear how and what they eat. But here it came as a blow to me. All smartly dressed and each had some not so good etiquette of doing things, everything. But even major shock was that I was put into a Co-ed school, straight from a Boys only boarding,(till then out of the not knowns, the only girls i had seen were babes from Welhams, Lawerence (Sanawar), Sharon stone in BI and lots of skimply clad blondes), now you can make out my mental state. I went into virtual coma, didnt speak much, always was conscious about things.Guys thought yeh to champu hai. But bhaiya aisa nahin karte to kaand ho jaata isliye aise hi theek the kaam chal raha tha. I shot to fame with my merit in school, accompanied by few extra-currics( yehi hain jisne bacha rakha hai). Made good rather very good friends, still in contact. By the time i reached 10th i had recovered from the "girl-shock" and felt better. Till the time School was over i had all experiences that you can think of.Just a confession never made it publicaly.Lots of crushes from actresses to lots of batchmates bas poocho mat yaar kanya ki bharmar dekh dimag ghoom gaya tha. Time to select a stream in 11th. Papa said you shouldnt do commerce, arts was considered a low grader thing, after having spent time with medics i didnt want to do medical, So the only choice was non-med. Lots of friends were taking it so thought nice company and joined the stream. In all the relevant exams in 11th & especially in comp. sc could not get more than borderline. Failed all through out in 12th. No probs yet tried for IIT. (see the level of optimistm). Boards did full-full cheating passed wonderfully. IIT no cheating lag gayi lanka. Finally NSIT ECE got through.
Third phase , people said ECE is good comp was best. Comp i never could understand in school so took ECE. My decisions have always been a result of public opinion poll or sheer elimination of choices with the best being what my friends opt for. Bas chal pade, apna hua apne doston ka nahin hua, kya karte. This has been just like my earlier boarding phase but a far better one made better friends, no girlfriends but all ladies knew isse bach ke rehna. College stay couldnt help me much in acads but it helped me bring out and hone my other side, as an orator, theatre person, and a writer. Which I love and all those who like me also love it (at least they say so). Again ab tak ka sabse bada kanya paksh ka jhatka college main laga, liked many beauties not said anything ,as usual. But amongst of all these I found one, she has been the best lady I have ever met in real life, i admire her and now the line of comparison has set the threshold there. Nothing less than or similar to her. She was a beauty with simplicity and wonderful brains , a rare combo. In acads I made it with disasters got a suppli in Electronics (my branch core) yet only wanted a job in Electronics Hardware( again optimism, optimism ki to factory lagi hui hai khatam hi nahin hota) nobody took me so joined an oil company.

Is it flowing upwards-1??

Once there was a time when you were a student, I am not talking about people in their PG courses. When we all are in school or atmost a undergraduate college. Life is fun, no worry no hurry just going on, taking a not so known path.Yet we know that its heading upwards, the right direction as most of us would have wanted it to be. Then comes the time when you step into the corporate world. I dont know what others went through I'll write what has happened with me till now, rather i will try and put down in phases how have events taken place from the time i used to piss in my nappies...
9th june 1982 I thought of taking avtar my mom and dad thought it was a wonderful day but they did'nt realize what they will go through after this momentary joy. The ,then not so young people, now tell me i was real good looking the typical gol-mol bacha and everybody would want to play with me. That is the golden time when you only need to cry to get anything.
The first signs of my weirdness, people usually suckle their right thumb but i was different, sucking my toes. Secondly, never stopped crying, during one of my bua's marriage, i i was given sleeping pills as soon as i woke up so that all can continue to work ab junta kehti hai nasha kyon karte ho, arre bachpan main gharwalon ne adat dal di ab kaise chod dein.
Thoda bada hua about school age 3yrs went to Three dots school, again problem only thing I did in class, sleep and snore. Very difficult to pass in the lower classes. Then one day god thought ab iska time aa gaya (jaane ka nahin re , sudharne ka). Chacha chaudhary ke mafiq mere pitaji ki dimag ka bulb jal gaya, bole Dehradun main padoge. Maine socha maan ki mataji ki mar se bachna hai to haan kar do, bas poori mundi hila di, gale lag gaya pitaji ke jaise ki unhone bal-vivah ki soochna de di ho.
Second phase shuru hua "Col.Brown School" Dehradun, boarding tha. All the good things that any of you find whenever we meet, all courtsey my alma mater, the wonderful teachers rather mentors. I am the way I am because there my personality was moulded to be like this. Full masti , sports , extra-curriculars not much studies. They emphasised on extra-currics more, I was good at dramatics, debates any oration, music, painting learnt it all, an average sportsperson and good at studies. People knew me(either good or bad) but lots of them could make out Gaurav ( rather kaddu as they called me) from the crowd. Things are not that good as they look, you know Geminis have a dual personality. The twin side surfaced when I stabbed a compass right into the stomach of a guy in a fit of anger. Fortunately, the guy did not end up with serious injuries , he was so fat the force was not enought to let the compass penetrate very deep. But I was bashed severly, I thought saale ka kuch hua nahin meri lag gayi, yeh bhi koi baat hai.
Boarders get a severe thrashing, murga bana kar hockey se on your bum and many other innovative ways not to be written here. Life was ultimate fun. Till 7th std. I was there then I took a shift to Delhi ( I still think that was not a good decision, it did have its pros and cons yet ..)

Spitbin.

Just think of a day when somebody (take for eg. Mr. Frenchie) just came into your house and spit(full of the phlegm) on you. What would you do?? Now if i said that if that same Mr. Frenchie went about finding the most unhygenic and unclean person around. A person living a life no less than a dog who sleeps and feeds on the road, bathes only on holi and diwali, works 18hrs a day in hot,humid and sweaty conditons but never changes his clothes. If Mr. Frenchie spits on him what would be his reaction? I dont think it would be any different from yours, the act of Frenchie might have made you think "what the hell does he think of himself and of course of me, am i a spitbin." Why would Mr. unhygenic feel the same, because it is not that it made you dirty or him dirtier but the fact it hurt the self-respect (Swabhiman, as you say in Hindi) in both you and Mr. Unjygenic.
No matter how each human being may live or die, whether he may eat or sleep hungry what is of utmost importance to him is to live with self-respect. Par vats yeh ghor kalyug hai, prabhu ne ek aisi hybrid ko janam diya hai jisme bachane layak swabhiman bhi baaki nahi raha, NETA, POLITICANS.
They will go to any extent if you stuff them with money. They have again proved this by tacitly declaring India as a dumping yard, a spitbin by allowing the French to send in their Clemenceau the French ship, at Alang in Gujarat. Ministry of environment may say it is not hazardous, they are the only ones to say that. Everybody knows the facts , the French also but yet our Environmet ministry wont accept it. Bhaiya jab andar ka environment hi itna ghatiya hai to phir bahar ka kharab hone se unhe kya farak padta hai.

These people are least bothered, for them its either losing out business to China and Bangladesh, or getting business (over and under the desk) at the cost of lives of hundreds of workers at yard(directly) and the contamination of water and land resulting in (indirectly) loss of human and wildlife around the area.

It is this act of these people, to whom the aam-admi gave the power the right to take decisions on his behalf, has led to the suffering , physical and even worse mental. It is they who think India is a spit-bin, a MCD ka kachre ka dabba, if that is so then we are the people living here and so we are no less than the pig who sleeps, eats and dies there in the garbage. It is here our self-respect, the nations pride is hurt when our people give the right to strangers to just walk by and spit, shit in our house and on us.
Hats-Off to Greenpeace for their efforts to stop this. I dont have much to say for this organization, they really are the ones working for a better tomorrow. I would request all those who read this to visit "www.greeenpeace.org" to really know about them. They are working for us so mostly they are against the government (govt. is rarely in favour of common junta, we all know that) so that can not ask, neither do they expect aid from the government. They collect funds from us to protest on behalf of us for us. So kindly see if you can help them by being a volunteer or giving donations starting from as small as 150/pm ( just the cost of one pizza at pizza hut, you should sacrifice this one pizza for a better life). This meagre amount will help you live with self-respect and the feeling that you are doing something for your motherland INDIA.

Words not spoken .

Have you ever thought over for a moment that when was the last time you said to your mom/dad/sis/bro/friend etc " I love you." For most of us it might be difficult, we might have said the same to somebody else, like about you family to your friend. But never straight to the person. Some of us might not have given a thought also,that if it ever needs to be spoken.
Why is it so,why is it so difficult or what makes it so.The only resons i could find were because people think these words were trivial, or self-implied or just for no reason at all . They never thought that they have to say such words.
lets take for example when your sister/brother is going for studies or any other venture to some distant place .You are there to say good bye wish him/her luck and pray for his well being. The heart is pounding palpitations are slightly faster than normal, some kind of an aura of sadness surrounds for no reason you can make out and the last thing that happens is you never utter the words "good-bye," you are speechless and only wave your hand and the eyes do the rest.
A guy would rarely go to a girl and say you look beautiful, if he says that there is a sense of flirting, but if he keeps mum and only the look would do it all.
There are many examples and even more situations where we have kept quiet. I personally feel this is because when the emotions are intense words can never do justice to the expression but its the silence with the look the gaze the eyes that say it all. The great people say when the body is unable to contain the emotions, it is important to speak out.But i feel the speech will only make the expression trivial only 10% (or a little more) of what you feel can be put forth by way of speech.
ill try and put down certain situations briefly where you just think if you did the same..
1) going away far off for the first time you never said good bye only waved full of emotions...
2) never said anything when you were kissed for the first time ( if not forcibly) .
3) never said that heys i love you a lot to your loved one just kept quiet or just shook your head.
4) When caught guilty of a crime you never uttered a word in acceptance but only lowered your eyes.
5) when bereaved of a loved one (a person very very close) you never went out howling , just stayed there staring at the body and tears trickling down your cheeks..
6) when you achieved something or some event that was a big achievement that made you extremely happy you never uttered anything more than "thanks" for the applause, just stayed there amidst the crowd without reactions,blank.
These and many other situations are there that show that the things spoken are not what matter , rather they are not the ones that define turning moments. Its the time when you didnt or rather you couldnt speak that had a impact on your life. That brought about these changes in you. That made you what you are today.