Happy Bday to me

Firstly, there is a looooot of difference between turning 18 and ageing 28, it’s a difference of a decade, if that sounds too small let me explain what all can happen in a decade:

·         Global warming was discovered

·         The world came to know that “Katrina” is also a hurricane

·         Skin color was not a rationale for not voting in US

·         90% of my friends got married

·         Sex ratio in India declined by an average of 3%

·         H1N1 was a swine flu, that afflicted humans, and not a new US visa category

·         PDA, Sex-talk, Kissing, thong show, VBS, low necks, and low waist were trendy and not taboo

·         Men found a befitting category between the sunny deol’s of the world and Bobby darlings: “metrosexual man”. Waxing, men cleavage shows, pedicures etc.  are acceptable amongst men.
 The list just goes on, so I hope that at least there is coherence amongst us that a decade is longer than just a count.
The feeling was kind a mixed: Do I actually need to think about Celebrating celebrating, or just a couple of hours with the people you like to spend time would make your day.  Thanks to a bunch of good natured people, as per a colleague people are nice in general; accepted, who made the effort of celebrating it along with me.

Before jumping on to the events of the days: Some statements that might be interesting :
 Raat ko 12 baje toh phone call expect nahin kar rahe ho? I don’t entertain colleagues after office hours..

·         Abhi sirf ek month hua hai jaane hue, isliye itna affection nahin hai, 3 months hote toh ghar aa jaate cake le kar.

·         I am on a diet but I don’t mind if it is a treat..

·         Dekho per person budget bata do, agar jyaada paise hain toh Hyatt chalo hamein farak nahin padta..bhai mujhe padta hai.

12’ midnight, my flat-mates were sweet enough to get a cake, small celebration a couple of phone calls and messages and then snoring that was it for the night.

Early next day: Each person who wishes you also makes you realize you are done with 50% of your “senile life expectancy” and you have also lost a decade of opportunity as single. Damn!! It isn’t that as soon as you turn 18 you go about banging babes all across the streets, machaa!!  I am not Tiger woods neither do I bear any resemblance to him or his penchant for balls. Get realistic!!  

Thanks to facebook and orkut a lot of people wish you, and you tend to spend a lot hours replying them. They make sure they wish you so that they feel they aren’t alone in the race to age, Sadistic pleasure I say!!

A fuss about where to go for lunch after a cake cutting session in office and some pics, decided on “Cantina” order some Italian, a word of marketing, the Italian is gooooood there, try it out.  Followed by “chaas” at nityanand.

Never felt it has to be some special day, for me it’s just another day, everyone has a day when they popped out in this world. I mean the seasons didn’t change or the world didn’t get rid of some disease or a war didn’t end when I arrived. Just another minion amongst the millions who added to the population woes of the earth, more number of asses that would fart and add to global warming in the long run!!

Mumbai and me.

Some Random ramblings about my stay in mumbai till now!!
My initial impression of the place was....what a place man, how the hell people manage to live in pigeon holes? Why doesn't my company transfer me north at least I will get enough place to stretch my legs, breathe,and savor some northie food...

I spend most time at home or office, as in quantitatively. Its been a roller coaster ride till now. It's amusing, the company hires me with an elaborate plan of starting a vertical. Two people to take the task ahead, a CEO and me. My CEO resigned before I joined , he had been with the company for 4 months which supposedly means a long stint, as conveyed to me. I join, they break the news slowly, I sit back and smile.
My routine, come on time to office, sit through the day read newspapers, magazines, chat, have a nice time with couple of friends that i made in office, and head back home...wow and they are paying me for this..God damn, they might be insane, or I am sure most people would want to switch places..trust me not more than a week and you are tired of this idleness.
Too much work irritates you because of pressure, deadlines are like a hanging sword, you fight you crib and try to do something..right- wrong something and at the end of it, you realize there is something that you got to learn in the process. On the other hand, my state FRUSTRATES me, it might seem to you like a state of utopia, but at the end of all this, except for some bucks and an extra 3" increase in tummy m-o-m(month on month) you are simply killing time, that's what pisses you off. Moreover this is when when you are angry with yourself, so you can't even vent out your anger on anyone.


Stint with the CEO, Forget trivial that was part of the induction that never happened. But the question that lingers on after meeting him is, what makes you a CEO or a "respected CMD" ? A bigger cabin, a longer car, a shorter cook, the sir name, a clan of relatives who head businesses and can't distinguish professional from personal,  or an ability to host a party on your b'day for all employees with your wife who surprisingly , is born on the same day just like other relatives born in groups of two (Boss, It's acceptable even if people are born on diff. dates and are relatives; acceptable fully in all sections of the society.)

Thinking of it..... Hmmmm...actually your ability to tolerate people who can articulate well and still have faith that they would do the right thing someday is a necessary but not sufficient quality, because:

The bigger cabin not really canteen is bigger than that, so it's definitely not the size (of the cabin you perverts). Could be the decor, honestly they should have hired a better guy with some intellectual and creative assistants rather than a bunch of 36-24-36, i.e real age-willingness to look-end result of effort. I fail to understand if they can't spruce up their own damn exteriors, how the hell do you think they would do the interiors, of the office, you damn perverts there you go again!!! (yeah i will try to be more direct here on). So, not the decor.

 Car..rent a damn limousine for a month and I bet my ass you will get a car from the company. Not, because you deserve it, but because envy is an extremely potent tool to get stuff done in many circumstances.
300 employees, assuming an expense of 150 bucks per person (dude the spread is not elaborate like those lunch buffets in copper chimney)....anyways...it comes to 45, 000...add another 15,000k to make it better. 60,000k, a bunch of 6 phukras can come together and say it is Mr. X's Bday party, phir kya karoge???

Talked a lot about CEO and stuff,forget it...The place I sit in office, there is a guy who has done his Phd on Autorikshaws in Mumbai. Some of the recommendations from his thesis:
MH02 rik lene ka, MH03 nahin..3 ka meter fast hota hai..
Koi mariyaal sa aadmi aaye sirf usko rokne ka
Auto ek side tilt lage toh nahin lene ka
Check the symbol on the meter for tampering
Dont forget to make some stupid excuse if you got into the wrong auto which does not meet ur specificationsi
the list goes on and on.... I an assure you, that an auto journey mumbai-delhi is not enough for his Knowledge transfer, single recommendation from my side when you travel next time: Run, walk do anything don't wait for him and the auto simultaneously.


The other place is home or to be precise house. The guys are good, busy with somebody online/offline the place is cramped. The landlady unfortunately is the typical gujju, and she has been fucking my happiness day in and day out. Why the fuck they can't think of something other than money? This is a virus and more dangerous than swine flu, not the community, the attitude find an antidote soon. Looks like they eat so much sweets that there isn't any left to share with people or at least be sweet to people. Boss, someday the Gandhi on the currency will shove his danda up ur ass seeing the way you are hogging money...and you never know who that Gandhi might be :)
All said and done, the city gradually gets on to you..probably by next time I will have a list of positives to write about. I am sure i will ..........