F.R.I.E.N.D.S

It isn’t about the all time most sought after series of the youth, me included, but it isn’t so very different from it either. Life is monotonous but when friends are around its fun. It is this bonding that I would prefer visiting them rather than some family relative. I might not have visited my distant mama’s, bua’s etc for the past couple of years rather a decade. But the slightest opportunity to be with either of them is I run for. They are the support system, my pillars of strength, in crisis I fall back on them rather than family.

It has not been a utopian bonding, we have had skirmishes that have lasted from minutes to a couple of years, but when things settled down the feeling has been worth cherishing the whole of my life. I am lucky to have lots of such beautiful people around.

There is a group I made from school, they are like the higher end of a spectrum. They are all urbanites, achievers in their fields, they attended best colleges..SRCC, Hansraj, IIM and likes, they are now CA, Businessmen, MBA’s, sophisticated, very good at their work. Their idea of party begins from a fine arrangement of things in an organized manner, a dinner at some… “hygienic” place, ambience is also a pre-requisite. They dress up apt for the occasion, they are real good at how to behave in social gatherings, mostly non-drunkards, responsible dancers and the art of conversing rightly is an inherent talent in them. Diet and gym regimens and other such social brand value stuff is what they intend to follow, brandmaniacs, connoisseurs of food from all over the world..especially Italian. They are a well bred up lot. A group of early achievers.

Then there is this other group I picked up from college, the lower than the bottom of the same spectrum. They are all underdogs, rustics, drunkards, full funde-baaz, a group that hails from small towns but dreams big, self proclaimed investment bankers without that formal Business school degree, they are hesitant in only one thing…to start a conversation with a lady, rest aside they never new what hesitation or “sharam” meant. We have done semi-nude dances in the jam-sessions with thousands of people around, the best possible vulgar oration possible on stage, pleads for social companies have been frequent in public. Also, all just somehow managed to get the so called first class…but they were good and i mean really really good at the subjects they liked. The things that come to their mind when they plan a date: 150*2 + 100*2 ( PVR + Popcorn), 500 dinner and then other tit bits like presents, nahiinnnn…this calculation might lead them to cancel the date, or they have this real time calculator working when on a date. They would enjoy the GE ke paranthe, Gupta ji ki rasoi main thaali , Juhu ka khatta-meetha and the Cooper hospital ke baaju ki Pao-bhaaji more than sitting sophistically at Hyatt or Smoke house grill types (especially when they have to pay for it). They can just walk out in bathroom slippers, a crumpled T-shirt and a nada hanging short to go anywhere you want them. They love the simplicity of Gayatri joshi, the urban elegance of Sagarika ghatge and also they strictly adhere to the weekly port watching ritual, which they reason out is a must. A group that knows that the race is still on, better to go slow. To be able to finish is no less a achievement than winning for them, I like this spirit.

And here I am, the transient kid. I am doing the balancing act real time, probably being a Gemini helps.

Life ....Interpreted.

A quote by a soon to be renowned writer, that’s me:

Life is a prostitute, it is better to enjoy the fuck rather than to be the spectator, coz at the end, you pay even for watching the show.

A prostitute can humiliate you to the worst level, still you won’t feel hurt, on the contrary you smile, laugh, giggle without an iota of shame, embarrassment or pity. Why????????? There are numerous reasons. First and foremost being that she mates you whenever you want, her motive is limited to the money paid for your pleasure and not any further, she does not come with a bag of responsibilities neither a truck load of relatives, she does everything behind a veil, a virtual veil which she creates to hide you; only till the time she wants, for her the veil is merely superficial she believes “is hamam main hum sabhi nangein hain”, you pay simply for her services not for any add-ons like emotions, you know she is shrewd, cunning, each praise of hers is a lie, but still you don’t detest her rather you appreciate & enjoy this service skill of hers. She very well knows that all promises made at that moment break as light takes over darkness, neither did she expect them to stay any longer. It is her abode, where the toughest get down on their knees, and the feeble no longer feel subdued. No prejudice exists, caste, race or colour, leave aside the monetary factors even in the so called holy places eg. Tirupati the higher bidder gets the preference, but then all get their share of time ….. with the god. She talks foul in a way that reflects her profession, and the irony is that this is the only truth she speaks. She can let you imagine yourself to be a king and still on the contrary she can make you beg, beg her. Her reluctance is obvious, her compliance is a favour. She gives you options too, either you have the guts to drive the show or she is all set to take over. In the later case you are the looser, you just followed what was presented to you, it lacked the exploration thrill. Life is like that, don’t you think so and destiny is the contraceptive. When you screw up you blame the contraceptive.

If I ever get to say Sorry

Sorry…to short a word, but needs a lot of guts to speak up. Even it’s brevity does not help. Some might say” ise bolne main kya hai..main toh kabhi bhi” , dear if all things were meant to be that way, the world would have been different, different and definitely notbetter.

If I ever get a chance, my lord gives me the courage to speak up. The first confession would be to my parents. Firstly for me being selfish and also irresponsible, both because for my own good, for a better career I did not look back as to what they might be facing. I chose career over them. Agreed, they helped me every now and then, they wanted that I be that “someone”, but the choice was left to me. I don’t know if I can be what they wanted, or the choices they allowed me to have, but as of today I stand nowhere near to that, not even within miles. Secondly, for being apathetic towards the fact that because of my not being there, they have to shoulder my share of responsibilities.

Thirdly, they did what was their responsibility and in a far better way, as a ritual, and I don’t do anything not even those bits that I should be doing.

If I get one more opportunity I would say sorry to a lady. She trusted me for various reasons, reasons only know to her. I was unfair to her, (a better derogatory adjective required here), for reasons only known to me. If I get a chance to confess, it was my self-created mental barrier, my own inability to be true to myself as well as to her, my utter lack of respect for her humility, for her concern for me, my inability to accept things as they are, my handicap to explain the obvious things that on certain parameters she ought to deserve better. As of today, it’s been a blessing in disguise, the lady has come a long way, and she still has lots to achieve. May god bless her. I can apologize a hundred times if an apology can make things better I wish I get that chance.

In reminiscence of the times and the entirety of the above I can summarize it by these beautiful lines:

Taruf (feelings) rog ban jaaye toh use chodna behtar,

Taluk(relationship) bojh ban jaaye toh use todna acha.

Jis makaam ko anjaam tak na pahuncha sako,

Usko ek haseen modh they kar chodna acha.

Another such opportunity if given, would be for the relatives I have had. Especially the people who helped me, provided me all the support and fulfilled all my wishes. They wanted me to be a better person, accept them as a family, but I could not look at them more than any other relative and a caretaker.

The list of such people is long, but then I am no saint and not all people matter to me.