After Ramu’s James flopped on the box office (he had not expected that) , in state of depression he decided to make something that was liked by all. Mythology was something that caught his interest, so he ventured out to make “Modern Mahabharat (not Mahabharata) “. The problem was he had to find characters, where in people could relate/recognize them i.e known personalities. They should be real life characters. He started with bollywood and due to the dearth of actors he searched for them in the parliament. So, this is how it goes….as usual in HINGLISH ( Hindi written in English)…
James flop hone ke baad Ramu ko vichar aaaya;
Usne modern Mahabharat banane ka beeda uthaya .
Bola character wahi hoga jo original type lagega;
Shuruat ki mithun da se, voh dhritrashtra ke liye jamega.
Use dikhta nahin; ki uski film koi nahin dekhta;
Phir bhi khud banata, kharidta aur bechta hai.
Amitabh ko bhishm pitamah ka role dena padega;
Wahi ek hai jo sattar(70) ki umar main bhi action karega.
Dharam paaji bane bheem aur Sunny ghatotkatch bana;
Panchali ke role ke liye, ready for such roles, mallika ko chuna.
Emran hashmi ko kaamdev ka cameo diya;
Aur uski choice se udita ko as Mainka liya.
Is prakar Jyadatar +ve character bhar gaye;
Sirf –ve role aur “Shikhandi” reh gaye;
Is khoj main sansad ki or kadam badaye;
Darwaaze par hi kai shikhandi nazar aaye.
Frame main left ka neta fit baithta hai;
Kehta hai support hai par har mudde par congress ki laga deta hai.
Achanak sansad main shor machne laga;
Sabko Dushasan ka role hot lagne laga.
Ramu ne Draupadi urf Mallika ki safety ka khayal kiya;
Cheer-haran ka kaam “brahmachari” Vajpayee ji ko diya.
Aur jiski “jangha” chaudi hogi, voh Duryodhan banega;
Phir to Draupadi ko baithane ka subhagya Amar Singh ko milega.
Dayanidhi maran ne INDIA-ONE ka ashvasan diya;
Local call main kaam hoga, isliye use Sanjay bana diya.
Jo din main gayab, raat main dikhe, use Jarasandh banaiye,
Gawli ya Shahbuddin, main se kisi ko pakad laiye.
Jo pet main seekha, ab tak usi ke bal par chal raha tha;
Isliye Abhimanyu ke liye Rahul jam raha tha.
Jin mahapurushon ke dar se opposition ne satta chod di;
Aise, Lalu, Mayawati or Mulayam ko kaurav sena ki bagdoor di.
Mata Sonia ko Kunti aur shriman Manmohan ko Karan banaya;
Ek female aur uske “ehsaan” se daba male,aur joda mil nahin paya.
Sansad bhavan ko Kurushetra banaya;
Aur ek saal philm banane main lagaya.
Kuch dekhne gaye, baakiyon ne film chalane ka paisa diya;
Agle kai saal baad ka ticket advance main liya.
Bole isko superhit banana majboori hai;
Neta ki asliyat saamne lana jaroori hai.
Yadi hum yeh trend ulat kar aisa bana paye;
Jahan neta parde ka abhineta ban jaye.
Toh jald hi sansad inse mukt ho jayega;
Bharat ko phir navoday ka ek mauka mil payega,
phir ek mauka mil payega.
Dhanyavad.
Lekhak
gaurav
Friday, January 20, 2006
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Sex ratio...is it imp.???
The figures (not the 36-24-36 ones… they are no more, 24-24-24 is whats available everywhere) show that there is a decline in sex –ratio within a few years and severely in Punjab reaching to 780’s. This has led to a whole lot of problems, not visible till you are about to search for a girl to marry. As usual our bollywood has encashed upon it through a wonderful film “Matrabhoomi”( the producer might not have got much returns, but hats off for the effort the team put in to put forth a future calamity).
Guys looking for girls, with girls as scarce as …..clothes on guys in boys hostels, in summers.This is what is the situation as of now, if somehow the NGO’s are able to reverse the situation.Govt. I doubt can do that …if they try to then leaders like Lalu get a chance to increase the inhouse population. If NGO's are able to do it then what all can take place.
If the ratio is critical with even greater disparity than in Punjab…then the morning
news -papers and the news will be full of stories like..
1) Even heavy names like, Gajraj Singh, gangraped in broad daylight in a moving open gypsy in Delhi. Delhi not safe anymore for men with statitcs giving numbers of rapes in the current month, last quarter and the year till then.
2) Guys will be advised to wear full sleeve shirts, no low rise jeans and avoid dressing provocatively to avoid attracting attention of passer byes.
3) Always keep pepper sprays and swiss knifes just in case you are fortunate to be pestered only by one blonde. Delhi police will give personal protection training to men.
4) Don’t go around late in the night, always take the busy roads where street lights are working.
5) Don’t go alone , always drive with windows shut and if possible not tainted.
6) In discos be careful of the crowd and especially of girls who try to be overfriendly, that might be a trap ..do I need to say for what.
7) In schools (everybody experiences this only that I am putting it down) if the teacher for biology is a male, all guys will be listeining expression less, with smirks and giggles from the female species. The teacher is a little embarrassed and his face is all red, praying nobody should put up a question especially from the topics of reproductory systems.
8) In colleges girls will always be inquisitve about what goes around in the Boys hostels.
9) Boys hostels will be converted into a fort, with restricted time entries and females guards guarding the doors outside.
10) On occasions especially like holi…girls breaking the doors to come and play holi with guys ,locked and hurled inside the fort, heavily guarded by females.
11) Engineering college girls banging their heads “ yaar yeh kya class ratio hai 100:10 saala stephens ya hindu main hote to sahi tha, kaam se kaam maal to bhara rehta. Pura DU saath hota aram se aankhen sekte.. hat saala engineering main toh life ka kaand ho gaya.
12) All guys getting good marks from lady teachers, the topper will be a guy, and a definite job, with companies like TCS, HSS picking up all those who come to them.
13) In discos no fag entry for females, males allowed, so girls waiting to ask if somebody could accompany them while they pay for you.
14) Call centers giving out rules no first pick up and last drop for guys, they have to be with a girl, the lady driver might cause him harm.
15) Politicians winning elections by promising to raise the issue of reservation for men in all fields (they would be the oppressed ones when in minority.)
16) In remote areas, one guy being married off to all 2 or 3 or more sisters when scarcity is high.
And hazaar other things like that will happen .. give a thought, especially the guys, are you willing to have the world like that…think deeply .. power of imagination is the key to decide if this is right or not...So, enjoy dreaming.
Guys looking for girls, with girls as scarce as …..clothes on guys in boys hostels, in summers.This is what is the situation as of now, if somehow the NGO’s are able to reverse the situation.Govt. I doubt can do that …if they try to then leaders like Lalu get a chance to increase the inhouse population. If NGO's are able to do it then what all can take place.
If the ratio is critical with even greater disparity than in Punjab…then the morning
news -papers and the news will be full of stories like..
1) Even heavy names like, Gajraj Singh, gangraped in broad daylight in a moving open gypsy in Delhi. Delhi not safe anymore for men with statitcs giving numbers of rapes in the current month, last quarter and the year till then.
2) Guys will be advised to wear full sleeve shirts, no low rise jeans and avoid dressing provocatively to avoid attracting attention of passer byes.
3) Always keep pepper sprays and swiss knifes just in case you are fortunate to be pestered only by one blonde. Delhi police will give personal protection training to men.
4) Don’t go around late in the night, always take the busy roads where street lights are working.
5) Don’t go alone , always drive with windows shut and if possible not tainted.
6) In discos be careful of the crowd and especially of girls who try to be overfriendly, that might be a trap ..do I need to say for what.
7) In schools (everybody experiences this only that I am putting it down) if the teacher for biology is a male, all guys will be listeining expression less, with smirks and giggles from the female species. The teacher is a little embarrassed and his face is all red, praying nobody should put up a question especially from the topics of reproductory systems.
8) In colleges girls will always be inquisitve about what goes around in the Boys hostels.
9) Boys hostels will be converted into a fort, with restricted time entries and females guards guarding the doors outside.
10) On occasions especially like holi…girls breaking the doors to come and play holi with guys ,locked and hurled inside the fort, heavily guarded by females.
11) Engineering college girls banging their heads “ yaar yeh kya class ratio hai 100:10 saala stephens ya hindu main hote to sahi tha, kaam se kaam maal to bhara rehta. Pura DU saath hota aram se aankhen sekte.. hat saala engineering main toh life ka kaand ho gaya.
12) All guys getting good marks from lady teachers, the topper will be a guy, and a definite job, with companies like TCS, HSS picking up all those who come to them.
13) In discos no fag entry for females, males allowed, so girls waiting to ask if somebody could accompany them while they pay for you.
14) Call centers giving out rules no first pick up and last drop for guys, they have to be with a girl, the lady driver might cause him harm.
15) Politicians winning elections by promising to raise the issue of reservation for men in all fields (they would be the oppressed ones when in minority.)
16) In remote areas, one guy being married off to all 2 or 3 or more sisters when scarcity is high.
And hazaar other things like that will happen .. give a thought, especially the guys, are you willing to have the world like that…think deeply .. power of imagination is the key to decide if this is right or not...So, enjoy dreaming.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)