I am no saint nor a punk rock arist of the nirvana or metallica cult to preach moksha, sacrifice, self restraint, or any other form/version. It is just a simple question “ Is possessiveness right/good/ is it a virtue.”
A friend of mine is proud of the fact that she is wanted and liked by all her friends. As soon as she wakes up, there are a bunch of them she needs to call up to wish them good morning. Then on reaching office all through out the day she calls up another office going batch of her friends, (so many phone calls might appear normal she being “SHE” but still they are more than usual). On leaving office there is this another “jatha” of the more intimate ones who would want her to come home for dinner and overnight gossip. On denying or ignoring anyone, the other day the price is paid by spending twice the normal time on that person. She is still proud of being SUCH A GOOD FRIEND.
Now the point is when does she have time for herself, or her existence identity is only of a friend of the so many friends and nothing more. She says her friends are possessive about her.
The benefits of being possessive, for her friends:
1) They become more dependent on her, in personal issues, hence unable to handle any kind of problem, setback or something bigger and even smaller ones.
2) She becomes more a part of their decisions, which till day they have not taken individually for the fear if they might go wrong, and on that part they have somebody to share the blame.
3) They spend a chunk of their “not so useful but potentially useful if put rightly” time on her.
The benefits to her:
1) The only other benefit apart from the above common ones is that the day she realizes that she is so very wanted, people are so very possessive about her, it will be difficult for her to maintain this accord for long, In this struggle to keep all happy she would forget to live how she had wanted to spend her life.
This appears to me as an incomplete post, I couldn’t think beyond. But the gist I would say is possessiveness is a BIG word, there are smaller ones that I am contended with. They satisfy all needs of vocabulary in MY LITTLE WORLD.
