Its been a long time, parents of my batch-mates started looking for a beautiful bride/handsome groom for their now fully grown child. They were successful in most cases after having gone through the ordeal of newspapers, the middleman, the chacha, mama, dadi, bua….etc sent prospective matrimonial alliances.
The boys were either so excited that they went red at the slightest mention of “ ladki dekhne ka episode”. Probably this is,was, and will be, the only time when they can actually see, stare, talk, accept, even reject..feel like a king, which they have not even once in their 25yrs of “forced brahmcharya” they were able to do. They gave up there rugged looks, there fata hua jeans, funky shoes and other stuff to have a makeover and look more…..acceptable and somebody for whom the prospective bride’s parents would die for…he thinks so but that never happens. Along with “apna babu” the team that goes for the survey generally has a jija-jiji, chacha-chachi and other such mixed double partners. Who talk just to keep the conversation going…they actually have nothing to say apart from criticizing/praising the girl…definitely pin pointing certain things that can be overlooked. Finally they come to a conclusion a YES/NO. Easy na.
Note: The above para explains the process of selecting a bride as practiced in the metros for grooms born, brought up and bred in a metro.
A friend of mine, due the availability of local doctor was born in a small town of U.P. Studied there for some time went to a reputed school in Ranikhet, and then came to Delhi to do his engineering from one of the most sought after colleges. To summarise it all, he had moved far ahead of his pears and children of relatives in his outlook, his qualifications, his needs, his ambitions were at a degree comparable or far above those of a typical dilliwala ladka.The family is proud of him, the entire town, their community boasts of having such a person amongst them.
Now comes the problem..
The boy’s parents wish that the lad should get married, something very obvious. They ask “Beta kaisi kanya se shaadi karna chahte ho”.
Boy(lets assume his name to be Raj): “ Papa ladki padhi likhi ho, working ho, parivar acha ho …etc etc the cliché that are usual for a such a eligible bachelor”
But, Raj only recently realized that the kind of girl he thinks would be his partner, would majority of times be a product of a city, so would never want to come to a smaller town like his. She would definitely not be able to adjust to the culture, routine, the rural hardships associated, the non-a/c small houses, somewhat comparable to those on the outskirts of a metro city, the unavailability of malls, parlours run by biggies like ambika pillai etc, a world class gym, a high society club with pool, a kitty party gathering and most other entertainment paraphernalia, limited company of friends rather surrounded all the time with relatives of a joint family their kids etc etc, and above all her entire qualification appearing to go down the drain as there is no way she can work there.
On the other hand, Raj would definitely always want to come back to his town because he has his roots, his family, an emotional bonding with the people, place. He might not love, but would also have no problems with anything associated with the word “rural..or its more derogatory synonyms…ganwar, etc” Raj still loves to sleep on the roof-top, when there is no electricity (which is fairly common). Go around the market in the town without the iota of thought about his attire. Still loves “ eating ganna in the winter sun and having a nap” Still loves to drive a tractor, truck and Landcruiser with the same zeal . Would not mind taking a bullock cart lift, a bus roof top ride, adjusting in the overcrowded general apartment, or sitting on the foot-rest of a train. Still destinations, like tirupati, vrindavan and other religious places would be of priority when it comes to a holiday..because his parents would come along. He might dream to visit U.S.A, but would definitely want to come back home at the end.
So I feel Raj is not wrong in being passionate as well as responsible, but the question is will he ever get married. Either he should be lucky enough to find a lady who thinks alike…or either decide to stay as a bachelor; which would surely be more peaceful than getting married to the wrong one.
