Mumbai and me.

Some Random ramblings about my stay in mumbai till now!!
My initial impression of the place was....what a place man, how the hell people manage to live in pigeon holes? Why doesn't my company transfer me north at least I will get enough place to stretch my legs, breathe,and savor some northie food...

I spend most time at home or office, as in quantitatively. Its been a roller coaster ride till now. It's amusing, the company hires me with an elaborate plan of starting a vertical. Two people to take the task ahead, a CEO and me. My CEO resigned before I joined , he had been with the company for 4 months which supposedly means a long stint, as conveyed to me. I join, they break the news slowly, I sit back and smile.
My routine, come on time to office, sit through the day read newspapers, magazines, chat, have a nice time with couple of friends that i made in office, and head back home...wow and they are paying me for this..God damn, they might be insane, or I am sure most people would want to switch places..trust me not more than a week and you are tired of this idleness.
Too much work irritates you because of pressure, deadlines are like a hanging sword, you fight you crib and try to do something..right- wrong something and at the end of it, you realize there is something that you got to learn in the process. On the other hand, my state FRUSTRATES me, it might seem to you like a state of utopia, but at the end of all this, except for some bucks and an extra 3" increase in tummy m-o-m(month on month) you are simply killing time, that's what pisses you off. Moreover this is when when you are angry with yourself, so you can't even vent out your anger on anyone.


Stint with the CEO, Forget trivial that was part of the induction that never happened. But the question that lingers on after meeting him is, what makes you a CEO or a "respected CMD" ? A bigger cabin, a longer car, a shorter cook, the sir name, a clan of relatives who head businesses and can't distinguish professional from personal,  or an ability to host a party on your b'day for all employees with your wife who surprisingly , is born on the same day just like other relatives born in groups of two (Boss, It's acceptable even if people are born on diff. dates and are relatives; acceptable fully in all sections of the society.)

Thinking of it..... Hmmmm...actually your ability to tolerate people who can articulate well and still have faith that they would do the right thing someday is a necessary but not sufficient quality, because:

The bigger cabin not really canteen is bigger than that, so it's definitely not the size (of the cabin you perverts). Could be the decor, honestly they should have hired a better guy with some intellectual and creative assistants rather than a bunch of 36-24-36, i.e real age-willingness to look-end result of effort. I fail to understand if they can't spruce up their own damn exteriors, how the hell do you think they would do the interiors, of the office, you damn perverts there you go again!!! (yeah i will try to be more direct here on). So, not the decor.

 Car..rent a damn limousine for a month and I bet my ass you will get a car from the company. Not, because you deserve it, but because envy is an extremely potent tool to get stuff done in many circumstances.
300 employees, assuming an expense of 150 bucks per person (dude the spread is not elaborate like those lunch buffets in copper chimney)....anyways...it comes to 45, 000...add another 15,000k to make it better. 60,000k, a bunch of 6 phukras can come together and say it is Mr. X's Bday party, phir kya karoge???

Talked a lot about CEO and stuff,forget it...The place I sit in office, there is a guy who has done his Phd on Autorikshaws in Mumbai. Some of the recommendations from his thesis:
MH02 rik lene ka, MH03 nahin..3 ka meter fast hota hai..
Koi mariyaal sa aadmi aaye sirf usko rokne ka
Auto ek side tilt lage toh nahin lene ka
Check the symbol on the meter for tampering
Dont forget to make some stupid excuse if you got into the wrong auto which does not meet ur specificationsi
the list goes on and on.... I an assure you, that an auto journey mumbai-delhi is not enough for his Knowledge transfer, single recommendation from my side when you travel next time: Run, walk do anything don't wait for him and the auto simultaneously.


The other place is home or to be precise house. The guys are good, busy with somebody online/offline the place is cramped. The landlady unfortunately is the typical gujju, and she has been fucking my happiness day in and day out. Why the fuck they can't think of something other than money? This is a virus and more dangerous than swine flu, not the community, the attitude find an antidote soon. Looks like they eat so much sweets that there isn't any left to share with people or at least be sweet to people. Boss, someday the Gandhi on the currency will shove his danda up ur ass seeing the way you are hogging money...and you never know who that Gandhi might be :)
All said and done, the city gradually gets on to you..probably by next time I will have a list of positives to write about. I am sure i will ..........