Conversation with the prospective

Before I begin the story I have a question? Why is it so that when you visit places like Nariman point, Band stand & Firangi Paani with a bunch of guys you feel out of place even worse you look like the beneficiaries of Article 377 legislation. How have things changed? It had been like this always, we a bunch of phukras, shorts revealing are hairy legs and Tees that make sure that the “family pack” around the waste is prominent, just walk in anywhere and laugh like the ramleela ka raaavana over the stupidest jokes , duniya ki leni-deni karo, aur bindaas raho.

But now these places catalyze your frustrations of still being single, holy shit the girls are like damn HOOOOOTTTT!!! and look like as if you are in a custom confiscated goods market, where only imported goods are available, it doesn’t look they are from this country…..but I don’t mind that.

Forget it, no point talking about that I might just miss the point. With no chance of walking out with a lady from such places I had to ask for help!!! Being that susankrit baalak , gharwaale came for the rescue. After a due diligence and strategic planning on the plan of action, I was asked to talk to a couple of ladies, the prospective brides ohohoho!!!. Dil main baji guitar, ki pitaaji na hote toh phone par sirf ladkon ki awaaz sunaayi deti!!

Here I have a confession to make, I am damn BAAAAAAD!! In talking on the phone, I am a good listener and the only things that anyone gets to hear from me are (common to all conversations and even the order):

Hi, kya haal,
aur, phir, acha, good, great, sahi hai, (all through the conversation)
Theek hai ok bye !!
So to begin with the Agra episode:
The usual hi and all that, and a generic statement conveying that I am baad on the phone, so try and keep the conversation going coz I won’t be able to. The lady had nothing to say other than Can I have your FB/Orkut i.d . Sure, here you go. This conversation was late in the night, post which I slept. The first thing in the morning, an sms beep, she replies “sorry this won’t work out”. I was like okay!! So the kahaani is,FB and other social networking sites have become a part of matrimonial due diligence. You need to clear the shit and paint a rosy picture. But I am tooo lazy to give it a thought.

A consultant’s case study result: The FB and all are tools for social mixing and highly effective. People taking the “arranged by papaji” route should refrain from using that for decision making. FB segment and papaji segment, both are different customers and hence there will be data incongruence wrt target.

The Charted Accountant: hi hello and the standard can’t keep up the conversation dialogue.
Okay!! She tried asking something and I was so bored I said, you have my number, call when you have something to talk about and I am sorry I don’t have anything. Thak se phone down…

The latest one was good: Hi hello and all that.
I: where do you work
She: A UN supported research organization doing Phd. Where do you work?
I: okay!! I was working for this organization, the CEO resigned, I don’t report to anyone and no one reports to me. So, working means getting paid for reading newspapers and magazines which I am not liking so actually I am looking for a job. I heard you work for the UN?
She: not really but yes UN is one stakeholder.
I: Grrrreat!! So would it be okay for you to forward my resume, I really really want to work with them considering my long term plans in public policy.
She: Okay!!! I don’t mind that fwd to me. But what are your long term plans?
I: oh !! ya, see actually 5 yrs down the line either I would be in a venture of my own, or get back to studies, a second masters or public policy from some insti. of repute. The common thing in either of these cases is: I would be without income and spending the saved income reserve. So…. What about you?
She: nothing much want to continue with research, preferably Europe because they value it. I just want to work and nothing else.
I: (A pause) I thought food was a necessity but doesn’t seem you think so. Bad joke!!
She: yeah!! I just desperately want to continue with my career plans and go ahead ..and it is not that I don’t care about family
I: (cutting her midway) Oh!!! Damn that’s a standard dialogue, you should come up with something new. Sorry!! Again a bad joke
She: ya again!! But I hardly have talked to people for this prospective stuff on the phone ..
I: seriously!! You look like a pro…you are damn good at it..
By this time I had realized I had already messed up stuff quite a bit, so I told her my friends are waiting outside, and they were, and I think she has my number to call up anytime she likes.

Haa!! How the hell can you expect me to talk on the phone, without even knowing the person moreover what do I talk. I fail to realize what these love struck guys who are stuck to the phone talk about in my house, they are like post office reporting to some manager till midnight, and damn!!! Do they have some “conversations on the phone: book for dummies” where they have a laundry list of questions to ask and answers to std. questions and some Dos and don’ts especially Don on what jokes not to crack. But then as they say it “keep the faith” and mr. annoy I am and I will “tere bhi din aayenge chote”