Dream if u Deserve.

It is normal for somebody to dream to do this and that..achieve,acquire, have, the best they can think of. But the fact that needs to be clear in your mind is....you get only what you deserve, it is applicable to all ..me included. That goes out of your hands might have been the best you thought you could get, but then u probably were not worthy of it. Wait for the time to get what you are worthy of, and can take care of.
as far as i remember these beautiful lines were by nida fazli:

har kisi ko mukammal jahan nahin milta,
kahin zameen kahin asmaan nahin milta.
aisa nahin tere jahan main pyaar kam ho,
umeed ho jitna utna wahan nahin milta.

so next time, take care that you don't let go off what you have got. Coz, that might be the last chance, and no matter what you do .....you wont get another. It is better to try and keep up a relationship in the best way possible than to let go off it, the years of memorable moments that stand behind that relationship can not be shunned/forgotten/enshrouded in a moment. Moreover, there is a thin line between love and lust what demarcates it is, weather you are sacrificing or selfish. So bid farewell with a smile and an assurance that you are there with "them".....always and forever. As Bryan the first visible Adam says...

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

As i always say....life is a marathon...prepare for a grand finish and while on the journey enjoy this run.
Here i would like to add a link :
http://sumeghagupta.blogspot.com/2007/01/leafs-departure-is-because-of-winds.html

this i think is one of the best writings for the same i have come across......

Pyaar ke ….After effects.

The story began the day my dear friend Peter met an amazing lady Miss M.

Before that the only ladies in the house apart from family were: Priyanka, Bipasha stuck on the walls, with inviting expressions and not to forget montu the kaamwaali. With such drastic female famine, it was obvious for our Peter to fall for the first lady he gets to meet and ...he did. Its human, this also can be taken as a point to show he is a normal human being, which till date is under scrutiny.

The first meeting: a lot of superficial hello, hi’s and all the formal gestures and sentences full of “ji’s” with the only pronoun that could replace her name “aap”, how come that so instantly people forget the tum, tera , teri, abe, even tumhaare which they have been using day in and day out. Constantly keeping up a fake smile, your mouth aches, and at the back of your mind you are constantly questioning yourself. Why do I have to make up all this? How can this be funny? Have my sense of humor hit a 52 week low somewhat like stock markets? What would have Peter Lynch done in this case or how the present P/E (parental/elope in the present context) ratio be interpreted for future benefits.

On this solemn first date, very little to ask and even less to answer. Not coz there is less to say, but because words have to be chosen cautiously and virtuously put together in a bunch to make a phonetically civilized sentence... oooooph...This is a lot of effort, so better stay mum and all replies should be in monosyllables like…..ji again replacing the “ yes”,” no” and third option “give a smile”…repeat repeat and repeat.

After a few months and number of meetings and round the clock telephonic interviews.. to know about each other as much as possible. First thing is, some nick names are attributed to you, could be something like cutie, poochi, baby, baba, motu, moti and likes. The information exchange has an array of topics from food they ate, to why there is a weight gain/loss, keen observations like falling hair are openly voiced, waking up time to wish good morning is inquired, from what should i wear today, to why the cook did not turn up and now what will they do...etc etc. All along come suggestions for all questions frantically popped out (u need to understand that questions were basically asked to give suggestions). The daily routine took a drastic change, the person who had limited activity at hand: sleep, eat, rock music, single peg of whisky followed by fumes from another half peg to give him a sheersh-asan mudra while asleep. Suddenly, found time for, frequent short walks, weekly long drives, daily after dinner ice-cream sessions........... especially woh chuski types, kulfi's & orange bars, evening fruit juice and chaat-papdi , gol-gappe like spicy stuff, music changed to slow and soft, sleep cycle was governed by the new service provider Reliance, movie selections and movie partners for the same changed accordingly reviews were moulded as per requirement. A new free pick and drop service was started, the earnings were not evaluated on monetary grounds but the time they get to spend together.

Then came up the big question (either of these means the same, so if you have heard or hear this…god save you), Where are we heading? What are your future plans? Do you intend to have an arranged marriage or you have someone in mind? What kind of girl are you looking for to be your wife? ....and sometimes it can be loud and clear something like: Dont you think we should get married? Once these question sessions have started off, they are like the Mumbai monsoons, unpredictable in time, volume and period, even worse they can drown you to unseen levels of insanity. The rains come and go, but they never end, and govt. has no compensation package for this disastrous, self invited, "not so natural" calamity.

The above questions might have a variety but answers are the same… as they say boys will always be boys:

Ans type1) “……………………………………………………..” (that means silence as if u never heard what she said)

Ans type 2) Sorry, I didn’t hear you. Can u just repeat the question?

Ans type 3) Papaji /mataji nahin manengi? Bahut fight hai. Koshish karunga. Don’t you trust me.

Ans type 4…One of my favourites) I thought we were just friends, good friends. I really appreciate your feeling but I don’t intend to hurt you, how come this …. happened?

But our hero made an effort, unlike most guys, a sincere effort, ghar par Rang de basanti ki re-shooting ho gayi, krantikaari mahaul cha gaya. Naare baji ke naam par duur daraaz ke rishteydaar bhi bula liye gaye, usko all four times.: subha dupahar, sham raat yeh yaad dilaya gaya…ki nahin yeh sahin nahin hai. Ladka band bajwaane ke aasha se gaya tha..uski toh kahani da band baj gaya. Now our champ is back to the pavilion in a more realistic way to prepare for his second innings. The match is already decided…sada Peter toh jeetega ji, ladki nahin toh kya life main toh pucca: “In the best moments of your life, you are expressionless, completely blank…you just try to imbibe the moment so that it stays with you for your life time.” Bas aisa hi kuch hone waala hai…”Shaadi “ ladki ki fix hone waali hai jaldi hi probably in the coming few months. All premarital arrangements of dekhna and parakhna have been done, venues decided and all that stuff.

Par ek cheez hai jis se bhayankar jal rahi hai Peter ki, uski naak ke neeche se ekdoosra bhai ladki le gaya woh bhi hamare jaise chapeti chaap haalat ka. And Peter could do nothing except for watching the show…Ab U.P na sahi, shaadi toh hogi, toh "bhaiya ji" ke yaha se hi sahi…udhar bhi jaayegi apna tolee…So, Peter is all set for taking over the responsibilities as a good friend as he has been trying to portray these days. Job profile for this new project is awesome. From distributing cards : as they say” ladke ko bahut anubhav hai shaadi ke kaarad baantnein ka, pehle bhi apni beheno ki shaadi main kaarad baatein hain”. Other stuff includes, arranging the phere ka pandaal, taking care of catering, phoolwala and phoolmala, pandit’s transportation and all the crucial and critical jobs which force him to stay behind the camera. We as a group stand together at this auspicious moment of the “Trio’s togetherness” to help our friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

It isn’t about the all time most sought after series of the youth, me included, but it isn’t so very different from it either. Life is monotonous but when friends are around its fun. It is this bonding that I would prefer visiting them rather than some family relative. I might not have visited my distant mama’s, bua’s etc for the past couple of years rather a decade. But the slightest opportunity to be with either of them is I run for. They are the support system, my pillars of strength, in crisis I fall back on them rather than family.

It has not been a utopian bonding, we have had skirmishes that have lasted from minutes to a couple of years, but when things settled down the feeling has been worth cherishing the whole of my life. I am lucky to have lots of such beautiful people around.

There is a group I made from school, they are like the higher end of a spectrum. They are all urbanites, achievers in their fields, they attended best colleges..SRCC, Hansraj, IIM and likes, they are now CA, Businessmen, MBA’s, sophisticated, very good at their work. Their idea of party begins from a fine arrangement of things in an organized manner, a dinner at some… “hygienic” place, ambience is also a pre-requisite. They dress up apt for the occasion, they are real good at how to behave in social gatherings, mostly non-drunkards, responsible dancers and the art of conversing rightly is an inherent talent in them. Diet and gym regimens and other such social brand value stuff is what they intend to follow, brandmaniacs, connoisseurs of food from all over the world..especially Italian. They are a well bred up lot. A group of early achievers.

Then there is this other group I picked up from college, the lower than the bottom of the same spectrum. They are all underdogs, rustics, drunkards, full funde-baaz, a group that hails from small towns but dreams big, self proclaimed investment bankers without that formal Business school degree, they are hesitant in only one thing…to start a conversation with a lady, rest aside they never new what hesitation or “sharam” meant. We have done semi-nude dances in the jam-sessions with thousands of people around, the best possible vulgar oration possible on stage, pleads for social companies have been frequent in public. Also, all just somehow managed to get the so called first class…but they were good and i mean really really good at the subjects they liked. The things that come to their mind when they plan a date: 150*2 + 100*2 ( PVR + Popcorn), 500 dinner and then other tit bits like presents, nahiinnnn…this calculation might lead them to cancel the date, or they have this real time calculator working when on a date. They would enjoy the GE ke paranthe, Gupta ji ki rasoi main thaali , Juhu ka khatta-meetha and the Cooper hospital ke baaju ki Pao-bhaaji more than sitting sophistically at Hyatt or Smoke house grill types (especially when they have to pay for it). They can just walk out in bathroom slippers, a crumpled T-shirt and a nada hanging short to go anywhere you want them. They love the simplicity of Gayatri joshi, the urban elegance of Sagarika ghatge and also they strictly adhere to the weekly port watching ritual, which they reason out is a must. A group that knows that the race is still on, better to go slow. To be able to finish is no less a achievement than winning for them, I like this spirit.

And here I am, the transient kid. I am doing the balancing act real time, probably being a Gemini helps.

Life ....Interpreted.

A quote by a soon to be renowned writer, that’s me:

Life is a prostitute, it is better to enjoy the fuck rather than to be the spectator, coz at the end, you pay even for watching the show.

A prostitute can humiliate you to the worst level, still you won’t feel hurt, on the contrary you smile, laugh, giggle without an iota of shame, embarrassment or pity. Why????????? There are numerous reasons. First and foremost being that she mates you whenever you want, her motive is limited to the money paid for your pleasure and not any further, she does not come with a bag of responsibilities neither a truck load of relatives, she does everything behind a veil, a virtual veil which she creates to hide you; only till the time she wants, for her the veil is merely superficial she believes “is hamam main hum sabhi nangein hain”, you pay simply for her services not for any add-ons like emotions, you know she is shrewd, cunning, each praise of hers is a lie, but still you don’t detest her rather you appreciate & enjoy this service skill of hers. She very well knows that all promises made at that moment break as light takes over darkness, neither did she expect them to stay any longer. It is her abode, where the toughest get down on their knees, and the feeble no longer feel subdued. No prejudice exists, caste, race or colour, leave aside the monetary factors even in the so called holy places eg. Tirupati the higher bidder gets the preference, but then all get their share of time ….. with the god. She talks foul in a way that reflects her profession, and the irony is that this is the only truth she speaks. She can let you imagine yourself to be a king and still on the contrary she can make you beg, beg her. Her reluctance is obvious, her compliance is a favour. She gives you options too, either you have the guts to drive the show or she is all set to take over. In the later case you are the looser, you just followed what was presented to you, it lacked the exploration thrill. Life is like that, don’t you think so and destiny is the contraceptive. When you screw up you blame the contraceptive.

If I ever get to say Sorry

Sorry…to short a word, but needs a lot of guts to speak up. Even it’s brevity does not help. Some might say” ise bolne main kya hai..main toh kabhi bhi” , dear if all things were meant to be that way, the world would have been different, different and definitely notbetter.

If I ever get a chance, my lord gives me the courage to speak up. The first confession would be to my parents. Firstly for me being selfish and also irresponsible, both because for my own good, for a better career I did not look back as to what they might be facing. I chose career over them. Agreed, they helped me every now and then, they wanted that I be that “someone”, but the choice was left to me. I don’t know if I can be what they wanted, or the choices they allowed me to have, but as of today I stand nowhere near to that, not even within miles. Secondly, for being apathetic towards the fact that because of my not being there, they have to shoulder my share of responsibilities.

Thirdly, they did what was their responsibility and in a far better way, as a ritual, and I don’t do anything not even those bits that I should be doing.

If I get one more opportunity I would say sorry to a lady. She trusted me for various reasons, reasons only know to her. I was unfair to her, (a better derogatory adjective required here), for reasons only known to me. If I get a chance to confess, it was my self-created mental barrier, my own inability to be true to myself as well as to her, my utter lack of respect for her humility, for her concern for me, my inability to accept things as they are, my handicap to explain the obvious things that on certain parameters she ought to deserve better. As of today, it’s been a blessing in disguise, the lady has come a long way, and she still has lots to achieve. May god bless her. I can apologize a hundred times if an apology can make things better I wish I get that chance.

In reminiscence of the times and the entirety of the above I can summarize it by these beautiful lines:

Taruf (feelings) rog ban jaaye toh use chodna behtar,

Taluk(relationship) bojh ban jaaye toh use todna acha.

Jis makaam ko anjaam tak na pahuncha sako,

Usko ek haseen modh they kar chodna acha.

Another such opportunity if given, would be for the relatives I have had. Especially the people who helped me, provided me all the support and fulfilled all my wishes. They wanted me to be a better person, accept them as a family, but I could not look at them more than any other relative and a caretaker.

The list of such people is long, but then I am no saint and not all people matter to me.

A one Diwali night stand.

9-Nov-2007/New Delhi:-..A night not to be forgotten. It was Diwali the festival of lights in India. An experience of a kind. I had taken a flight back home from New York to Delhi. So by the time I reached Delhi it was exactly 0000hrs and the diwali day about to end. I quickly called up people, family, friends the excitement to be back home and moreover to be able to to wish in time was ….fantastic.I quickly headed back to my guest house, after a 24 + hr flight I was planning to rest a while and take the journey ahead to home. I reached noida guest house at about 0200hrs, and found the house locked, caretaker on leave. I jumped over to find if any gate is open or somebody inside, banged all doors and doorbells, for half and hour the efforts continued, but no result. Then I tried the second house, if the caretaker there is still there.

The guy Bahadur, I don’t know for what reasons, did not wake up, probably too much of local liquor, or the bursting crackers, or the fear of somebody banging the door at this time or he might be banging his wife….or probably all of these factors together, he decided not to leave his so called comfort zone. I had to resign from this place too. I headed to my office hoping that a set of keys might be available there, the guard there too had no key. Meanwhile, the taxi driver was like” Sirji, ab kahin jaayenge kya? I felt like giving him a bashing, bhains ki yahan rehne ko jagah nahin tere ko nikalne ki padi hai….” Anyways, I decidet to stay back at the company, wait till morning for bahadur to wake up …..Naturally.

The company had not electricity since evening, also no bed, no couch (occupied by guards to sleep), so I had to help myself join two tables and rest a while. But could not, so enjoyed FM station 92.7, It’s good that these play all night long now a days.

0330hrs, I felt it was slightly morning and the visibility enough to drive, so I decided to take a car and go home. I picked up my luggage, and started home. Firstly, the cracker smoke made it difficult to drive, suddenly one head-light stopped working (fortunately left one), then the rear view mirror fell from the ceiling. The fuel gauge was not working fine, I did not realize this, until I saw that I had not come long and the gauge fell from ½ to less than a ¼ tank, the driver confirmed this next day. So now here I felt like being on an adventure ride. All along no petrol station, gave petrol, either closed or only giving diesel.

Then I reached a place from where, the road was not safe as told to me, it passes through desolated fields. I was expecting that it would be morning by 0500 a.m but it did not turn out that way. Then with the thought that nobody is fool enough to wait for one person, when all know this is not safe, nobody will come, so neither the bad guys would waste time, at least for a fakkad like me.. Taking this benefit of doubt I moved ahead, thinking I will drive at 80+. Again, the fog was so thick, difficult to drive beyond 20km/hr. I somehow made it home in 4 hrs, double the time usually it takes. My parents happy, surprised, and kind of little tensed on what a crazy fool I was. After taking a 24+hr flight, and waking up all night, I drove 150 km with such a car, in such foggy conditions, at such odd hours through that so called unsafe road. I enjoyed it.

But, life main yehi toh masti hai, majaa aa gaya..ghar aa kar, these are the kind of things you will remember some time from now. So, go ahead take a chance, you would not regret having done this.

Guys too have ijjat..which they need to protect.

With the changing scenario, there has been a change in the rape statistics too , not that the numbers have come down..just a change in the victims!! Thanks to the country of George.W.Bush , whose country is the pioneer of homosexual relationships. Earlier, if an attempt of molestation, sexual harassment or rape was mentioned, what followed was this question? Who was the unlucky girl, may god give her the strength to bear the agony?

Today, you never no, what might just happen, girls have stepped out of such arena. They are open to all this and hence, no complaints on records. But, complaints from the unlikely sex, males, have begin to surface. It is difficult to digest this fact, but it’s a gift of the coming new age.

In India , asking a lift or just hanging around with friends, or strangers you might have met some hours or days ago is common. A kind of bon-homie develops and people enjoy. But, refrain from such activities in the US of A my friend. A guy might be willing to help you, but to help himself. A bond with a stranger might just lend you in trouble, to be precise the options are bed, couch or the back /front seat (as convenient) of his car.

The American black community has somehow still not managed to get a very respectable stand in this society। I am not talking about people who are part of the presidents office, or who are very well off। But, a normal guy is always looked at with suspicion, the same was conveyed to me to be wary of them. And on the very first day, I saw a huge guy walking towards me asking me something….i was barely reaching his shoulders, I quickly ran to the reception and stayed there till the huge figure vanished why??? ...हाँ भाई मुझे भी दर्र लगता है, अनजान शहर मे इतने बडे आदमी से ...और जब इज्जत का खतरा हो तो और भी ज्यादा फटती है!! भैये जीस के पैर न पड़ी बेवाई वह क्या जाने पीर पराई !

Hamein jaana Amrikaa..

28^th Oct. ’07: I had reached the Indira Gandhi International airport far before time, at-least I felt so. I was stepping out of the country for the first time, thanks to my company, they did not intend to send me to Bangladesh earlier. I was a little apprehensive, about things at the International airport the customs , the immigration etc etc. The flight jet airways, it appeared all people intended to fly by that, I having reached full 3 hrs earlier, was still the last passenger to arrive and check in. Great. And then rush through the immigration etc. My parents friends calling up, if everything was fine, why hasn’t the flight left, it was disheartening to know that more than myself they were willing for me to depart.

To Brussels, it was a wonderful flight, reason being the company. First time in the history of my flight chapter, all domestic, I never got a seat besides a beautiful girl, and she never fell asleep on my shoulders. Thank good “Yeh kandhe aaj bhi chaude aur majboot hain, bhagwan inhein aise mauke ke liye sambhal ke rakhna”. It was a great feeling till Brussels. Thereafter, took another 8 hr flight to Newark again jet. Oh I should thanks jet airways they have a nice collection of movies on the craft, watched Chini kum …mast rapchik pataka, gajab film lagi baaki friends episodes and few angreji movies.

Newark: lovely place, I got to see the airport only, but what makes it lovely…you know it, lovely ladies hanging around, spotless, elegant, perfectly dressed. Then the flight to Fortworth, Texas. I had reached destination.

The things started off well, as soon as I entered the lady at the hotel reception, just said these words “ Hello, welcome, your room number is 215, Good night”. Oh that was to the point conversation not a word less or more”. Nice room, not well lit, probably Americans don’t need much light in their rooms, coz they are famous for things where darkness is the prerequisite. The day started of well, I could not find veggie food, people stuffing down all sorts of burgers idhar udhar ka taam jhaam, except for what we called food, so these guys would just go over to a restaurant, take a burger like something, coke and that’s all, moreover veggie stuff was difficult to find. Man, you have trouble if you don’t have a vehicle here, public transport they don’t know what it stands for. Even greater was when I came back to the hotel, felt like going around somewhere, I happen to read the guest book, it said don’t go out late in the evening, if you are alone and don’t have a vehicle, the place around isn’t safe. Now that’s a topping on the cake.

So schedule was great, wake up--> office--> hotel-->sleep--> repeat. Nice I think, hassle free, like those low fare no-frills airlines. That’s been the first time, I have had a problem of getting around with people, that makes me realize how language and food matter, people tend to mix up best when munching together. I am desperately waiting for one of my colleagues and friend to come here, he finally came and that was a relief, just like a lady feels after she delivers, if not more.
So finally amrica sahi hai, if you have people to talk to, food the kind you can hog, money to be able to get a car and go wherever you like and above all..if you don’t feel like going back to that place you have all these years taken to be far inferior to America---India.

Road to ….nowhere!!!!!

Somebody, wrote the famous lines….

Two roads led to the woods, I took the road less travelled by and that has made all the difference

This is a beautiful thought that has kept me going all this time with motivation that wherever this path may lead it will always be a better life ahead. It isn’t that I have had a change of opinion over this, or I want to turn back from where I am now. It is just that lately the journey is not that smooth, it is unpredictable, confusing, and demanding… coz the road is less travelled by.

I have a job, that I like for ….to be frank for the beyond imagination salary they pay to average guys like us and that means a lot for us, the perks that come along which I don’t think anybody would be willing to provide, the number of leaves I get, the opportunity to go to some of the most beautiful places, some of the harshest condition terrains, to have experiences that are …..not worth missing in this lifetime, my unwillingness to take up a desk job in some NCR/Metro plush company offices, I have somehow made a bond with the people here over time I feel comfortable here…kind of you can say this is my comfort zone. As and actor in Rand De Basanti says, “Idhar DJ ki kuch aukaad hai ,DJ ko log jaante hain .” Similarly, the fear to venture out into the unknown is really frightening, here people know me, I have a say, They accept me equally with the success and failures. I have a somewhat hassle free life here and I have adapted to this, kind of.

But on the other hand I have a family back home, they want me to quit it, as this is not a job where I can go far ahead with. A job in which I can gurantee only one thing, that i am not sure when I will be home. They ask me about my plans to settle down, I keep asking time from them, someday they will surely realize that I am just buying time and not that I am doing something to change the status of things. For them a job with more time at home, even if it is less paying, is what I should look for. Try to come out of this apparent mess, but these are the things that got into this job, things that I like. Moreover, relatives who I really don’t wont interfering with similar issues come up again and again,this pisses me off, as it is very easy to say and get away. I have had a similar experiences earlier, with opinions pouring from all over and decided to take the plunge believing in these free floating opinions available all around. The experience was bitter and I can not afford to go through the ordeal again, neither do I have that stamina now.

I have the option of taking up higher studies in management, but then the similar dilemma. Will I get back at this level financially, or in reputation, and moreover when. Secondly to be near to home is very -very important for me, and somehow here I am getting this, after higher studies where will I be I don’t know. These thoughts are enough to break that spirit of preps. My willingness t o go for mgmt, is born more out of two major factors, firstly , my family wants me to change my present field and they along with me find this as a good option. Secondly, lots of people are doing it and doing fairly well rather at times better off, what they don’t take into account is a realistic comparison. Not all make it to biggies like BCG etc even from the IIM’s. It is good, satisfying, less depressing to accept and target what is achievable within your limits realistically.

This entire thing might make me look like an emotional, indecisive fool…actually that’s what I have made of myself. I am unable to proceed because this time the decisions I would like to make them by choice rather than they being a result of lack of choices, as it has been all these years. So, here begin the tough times, but I have a companion watching over me from there all the time, and he will take me where I am destined to be, I have faith in him.

SADA PIND BALLUCHI !!!!.

I had been in Delhi for a party thrown by our very own Bhaiyaji (ankit Jain), on 3^rd sept. Sunday. As a thorough professional all kinds of overeating were avoided from Saturday morning, so that bhaiyaji’s effort does not go down the drain and he has a pleasant sight watching us hogging the food down to our huge reservoirs.

Our very own Ankur Bansal an avid Times food guide follower made the arrangements. I don’t know why the hell they published this food guide book and even if they had to, why did it had to reach people like Ankur Bansal.

Venue : Smoke House Grill

Time: 8:30 pm

A quite corner table, usually one of those most sought after, was booked for six people:

The host and hostess: ankit and deepali (They did their job well)

The event manager: Ankur bansal (The person responsible for spoiling our evening)

The three musketeers: Gaurav, Ruchika and me. (The people who were on a eating spree)

As was expected from Mr. Bansal, the place was great for a business chat. But our crowd stands nowhere near to the behavior expected from civilized business people. The starters were ordered for, Mushrooms and some funny pineapple dish and drinks. As soon as they arrived, the sight of it made the muskeeters laugh out aloud, clamorously, unaware if people were watching, and decided that this place had to be abandoned.

The quantity in each dish was for some civilized, calorie conscious VLCC promoter, the taste fit for only such palettes, hence definitely not for us. Neither we could have developed the taste for such delicacies, which none of us could make out belong to which part of the world. Except for one person, ankur, trying to convince that this was Italian. If Italian had to be this way I swear an Indian restaurant in Italy would be a blockbuster hit.

We had to thrive more on complimentary “bread ki bori” rather than the dishes, we were even besharam to ask for one more “bread ka bora”, once we knew the secret..complimentary hai.

Now the most stupid question came up, definitely as expected from the manager, ankur. Would u like to order your meals, or should we go elsewhere? How the hell could he ask that? Neither we could eat, nor bird watching was possible. To be precise toot ke nahin kha sakte, aur table bhi aise kone main ki saari sundar ladkiyan jara bhi dikh na jaayen, aadmi ki na khaane ki bhookh mite na sundarta niharne ki?

Finally, all three musketeers decided for sada pind balluchi, now here we got a table besides 5 beautiful very beautiful choriyan. This is what you call destiny, “pandavon ko bhi apne beech main ek hi mili, aur yahan hamein paanch paanch”. Khana daba ke pela, from the very own tikka’s to the typical Indian cuisine, to the sweet-dishes saadi matka kulfi and kheer. Mazaa aa gaya, tab laga party di hai bhai ne, sundar se ambience main. “ Bole toh dil khol ke chabaya, aur gappe haanki”

Like all good stories, this too has a moral to take home:

“khana woh ho jo bhar ke kha sako, jagah woh ho jahan charoun paase sundarta ka majma laga ho, baat aise ho jise khul ke keh sako sabke saamne, aur pehnawa apni pasand ka kaisa bhi, koi bhi jaisa dil kare.”

Aur yeh sirf yaaron ke saath hi ho sakta hai…isliye: Apni dosti di kadar kar bande, aise mauke jaane phir kab milein!

The Dilemma of a Eligible Rustic Bachelor

Its been a long time, parents of my batch-mates started looking for a beautiful bride/handsome groom for their now fully grown child. They were successful in most cases after having gone through the ordeal of newspapers, the middleman, the chacha, mama, dadi, bua….etc sent prospective matrimonial alliances.

The boys were either so excited that they went red at the slightest mention of “ ladki dekhne ka episode”. Probably this is,was, and will be, the only time when they can actually see, stare, talk, accept, even reject..feel like a king, which they have not even once in their 25yrs of “forced brahmcharya” they were able to do. They gave up there rugged looks, there fata hua jeans, funky shoes and other stuff to have a makeover and look more…..acceptable and somebody for whom the prospective bride’s parents would die for…he thinks so but that never happens. Along with “apna babu” the team that goes for the survey generally has a jija-jiji, chacha-chachi and other such mixed double partners. Who talk just to keep the conversation going…they actually have nothing to say apart from criticizing/praising the girl…definitely pin pointing certain things that can be overlooked. Finally they come to a conclusion a YES/NO. Easy na.

Note: The above para explains the process of selecting a bride as practiced in the metros for grooms born, brought up and bred in a metro.

A friend of mine, due the availability of local doctor was born in a small town of U.P. Studied there for some time went to a reputed school in Ranikhet, and then came to Delhi to do his engineering from one of the most sought after colleges. To summarise it all, he had moved far ahead of his pears and children of relatives in his outlook, his qualifications, his needs, his ambitions were at a degree comparable or far above those of a typical dilliwala ladka.The family is proud of him, the entire town, their community boasts of having such a person amongst them.

Now comes the problem..

The boy’s parents wish that the lad should get married, something very obvious. They ask “Beta kaisi kanya se shaadi karna chahte ho”.

Boy(lets assume his name to be Raj): “ Papa ladki padhi likhi ho, working ho, parivar acha ho …etc etc the cliché that are usual for a such a eligible bachelor”

But, Raj only recently realized that the kind of girl he thinks would be his partner, would majority of times be a product of a city, so would never want to come to a smaller town like his. She would definitely not be able to adjust to the culture, routine, the rural hardships associated, the non-a/c small houses, somewhat comparable to those on the outskirts of a metro city, the unavailability of malls, parlours run by biggies like ambika pillai etc, a world class gym, a high society club with pool, a kitty party gathering and most other entertainment paraphernalia, limited company of friends rather surrounded all the time with relatives of a joint family their kids etc etc, and above all her entire qualification appearing to go down the drain as there is no way she can work there.

On the other hand, Raj would definitely always want to come back to his town because he has his roots, his family, an emotional bonding with the people, place. He might not love, but would also have no problems with anything associated with the word “rural..or its more derogatory synonyms…ganwar, etc” Raj still loves to sleep on the roof-top, when there is no electricity (which is fairly common). Go around the market in the town without the iota of thought about his attire. Still loves “ eating ganna in the winter sun and having a nap” Still loves to drive a tractor, truck and Landcruiser with the same zeal . Would not mind taking a bullock cart lift, a bus roof top ride, adjusting in the overcrowded general apartment, or sitting on the foot-rest of a train. Still destinations, like tirupati, vrindavan and other religious places would be of priority when it comes to a holiday..because his parents would come along. He might dream to visit U.S.A, but would definitely want to come back home at the end.

So I feel Raj is not wrong in being passionate as well as responsible, but the question is will he ever get married. Either he should be lucky enough to find a lady who thinks alike…or either decide to stay as a bachelor; which would surely be more peaceful than getting married to the wrong one.

Tragedy-1

If after reading, this & others to follow in the series, people call me tragedy aggarwal it would be kind of obvious.

I had just come back from leave and joined office, it is then I checked my mail after a long time. There was one mail by a lady, PG, once a batchmate of mine. She was in my class in school for just two years 9^th & 10^th .We never met after that, neither had any contact. It means, this mail I got was after about 8 yrs I last saw her in school (thanks to the all famous www.orkut.com ).

The mail brought back memories from school, and along with came the tragic news. She wrote that “Dear, It was long back we met. I had a BiiiiiiiiiiiiiiG (a new way to emphasize) crush on you in 10^th. She kept track of my whereabouts many years after she left our school. And it was now she went public, as in spoke not the IPO wala. She quoted incidents which I definitely could not recap. But I had this gudy-gudy feeling that “ab to apna time aa gaya ,apni to nikal padi”.

After this entire flashback of childhood times, she said in big bold letters that “She was getting married, and she wanted me to come over on that day.” That day was… the day I read the mail, God is great he always knows how to take masti with his baccha log….Anyways after overcome this shock, my friends decided to go there..they too were invited through me.

Of course they wanted to go for free food and the live entertainment of girls and me and her amne samne. They were pretty excited, as if I will repeat the Aamir khan & Preity Zinta episode of Dil Chahta hai.

We met, formally, talked a while, I enjoyed the food…met the groom. And while on my way back I got the best complement of my life

“Abe usne tere ko bulaya present waale se comparison ke liye, yaadi use kuch doubt lagta toh shayad tera number aaj hi lag jaata…but probably she has a better choice in hand..why let go”

I hope this is the last of its kinds tragedy…coz its already time my batchmates are preparing to get married, and I definitely don’t wont people trying to contact me to attend their marriages for reasons like these.

Two marriages…..too apart.

1^st marriage:

Ankit jain weds Deepali jain, 21-4-2007

Relation : Ankit best friend..Deepali friend and to be bhabi ji for out bhaiya ji.

It all started on the 20^th night, with out bhaiyaji(ankit jain) sitting and mehndi rasm in its full flow.

It is then we dudes and one dudeni entered the scene, the DJ wala was happy to see some prospective dancers arriving. The music started blaring, and we put aside everything and off to dance like mad paid professional entertainers.

Then came the d-day for bhaiya ji.

Till 5pm. “arre yaar kuch kaam nahin hai, bas 6 baje tak pahunch jaana”.

At 5.30pm “abe yeh time hai aane ka,kahan mara rahe ho”

Finally the dulha tika and etc etc rasm was done, we without any hesitation and willingly took over the job of serving snacks to all. The snacks were delicious with lots of varieties and hence had to be in our command. We did the job well, filled our small tummy’s.

Bhaiya ji sat on the ghodi, his bhanja in front. Bhaiya ji is jara chota in height so in the picture frame it was only bhanja,,due to aesthetic reasons bhanja was shifted back and his photo cut from the frame so that it is imperitive that dulha bhaiya ji hi hain.

Then off to change clothes. It is the first time in my life I got dressed in less than 10 min for a wedding. Bhaiya ji gave us full respect and refused to again mount the ghodi till we arrived on the venue of the the procession. Flattered by this concern we hurriedly reached there and picked him, threw him on the back of the pretty female..horse, and started dancing.

Shakira,bhangra,Jackson, Jlo, bacchans, dharampaaji (with family), and all the weird forms of dance were presented to the crowd….even a few lines of evergreen hits were sung, as I say….”Bas let let(lying down) ke dance karna reh gaya “

After all this finally the couple were seated and jai mala was done. I always thought that child marriages were banned in india. But I was wrong. Main sakshat bal vivah ke aayojan main khada tha. They were looking cute as a couple, and really happy and made for each other. May God bless them.

2^nd marriage

Ekta Aggarwal weds Shantanu Aggarwal,26-4-2007

Relation: ekta my kid sister

Venue Ambala (Haryana). Being from the ladki waale camp, came the usual burden of added responsibility to think twice before any “uddandi” act. Where unlike the earlier wedding of bhaiya ji I was openly dancing I took a lot lot conservative approach. Spoke with the finesse of a padah likha aadmi, which even surprised my friends who had never thought I (a ganwaar) could….

Rather than shouting, passing comments etc most of the times it was an emotional affair. Nothing much to write on this as most of the time it was arranging things, paying respect to the ladke waale, consoling sister and family members. I pray for her too, May God bless the couple.

I have entrusted the almighty with two responsiblilites back to back, but we know it is his nature that we always rush to him begging everytime, always, and at the slightest prick and he welcomes us as always with open arms.

There was a great song “Oho hum dulhe waale, dulhan ki amma ko hum kya jaane, dulhe ke baba ko hum kya jaane…..” Rightly said, the occasions were the same, but probably the presence of different people in the lead made the difference. I don’t know why but, we usually fight with our sisters all the time, we are happy if she surrenders, feels irritated, shouts shrieks,cries, complains running here and there. Somehow, just the opposite, at this moment she does cry a lot, but this time it hurts rather is painful, so much so that tears trickle down our eyes too.

PREPARING TO GET MARRIED….???

Age 12yrs : just entering my teens.
I read a story of Prithviraj Chauhan and his beloved Sanyukta and how the great warrior, fled with the lady, with the other so called kings and learned people watching and gaping. The lessons learnt from this story .
1) The girl gets to choose from equals, who she thinks, is best suited for her.
2) If she has chosen somebody then it is his birth right to flee with her irrespective of whosoever may be behind his back.
This kind of had a deep wala impact. I felt that there will be a day when some beauty like Sanyukta would come up to me and say she wanted to marry me, putting all my equals in the trash bin, and clearly making a huge statement that I was better than all present for the “Swayamvar” and best suited. The mere thought of it made me feel happy.

Tic-Tic-Tic (this is the clock, could not put visuals of a tyre rotating ,like bollywood) .

Age 18, about to exit the teens:
I had been told the legal age for marriage in India for males is 21yrs and for females 18yrs. So now I felt as if the ladies might be looking at me, because they were now at a age to get married, and it will be fun when somebody would approach and I would very seriously say, you will have to wait for 3yrs if you believe in the Indian govt. rules, or if you want to patch up early u can trust me. The govt. appeared to be like those trash bin kings, the lady like Sanyukta and me of course The great PC.(Prithviraj Chauhan). But nothing such ever happened I graduated from college, staring continuously without a blink, waiting for my Sanyukta. The time came when I was 21 and also passed by. Nothing changed, except that I was made clear that it is not the girl but you who will choose who will be your bride.
Question no 1: will the lady I choose, get married to me?
Ans no 1: YES.
Queston no 2: will I have to choose one from two or will it be little more choice?
Ans 2: Boy there will be a line, a crowd.
“Dil main gud-gudi hui”
Again the good feeling revived, new vigour that now it is me who selects, “SWAYAMVADHU” WOW!!!, the lady, her family, my family all will support me , I felt like a ….like a KING.

Age 25yrs: status quo as of today: SINGLE
So follow the following:
Note :MANDATORY FOR PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY ARE MY “FRIENDS “

1) Never have any of those thoughts as stated above. These thoughts go into the trash bin and not those equals, who were, and are,not equals but far far ahead of you in this race.
2) Never ever register your self at those marriage bureau kinds, shaadi .com etc….it will be heartbreaking to hear while you are pointed out to the lady’s father and remarked “Sir, he is the most eligible bachelor amongst those registered here, all other 98 of 100 got married, your hard luck sir the last one decided to pursue a bachelors life”
3) Always keep in mind that you don’t get to choose, and there is nothing such as “The Best” from a hoard of proposals. Coz, there will never be so many to call them “many.” Moreover they will be the ones who were never approached by any of those “equal kings”.
4) It is she and not you who is making the selection, so don’t let the opportunity pass by, you may (rather most of the times I am definite) will not get a second chance.
5) Always respect the family of the bride, it was they who actually gave you the privilege to say,"I am married," in this lifetime, by forcing (or cunningly convincing) that you are the best match for her, moreover saying that she would be happy post marriage.(How great are those parents who can actually bluff their daughters into marriage with people like us, I really bow to these real life Managemet Guru’s, they should be prof’s in the Mergers and Acquisitions subject.)
6) Respect the bride for succumbing to her family and not eloping with the “padosi ka ladka” who she thought and still feels, was a better choice.
7) Above all, always it is you who has to try to maintain the relationship as amicable as possible, coz she at any point of time has lots of choices. Even greater is the tragedy that you don’t have and will never have anything such as a CHOICE.

Hurley ka Byah !

TIME: 1130HRS, PLACE : BARMER. (RAJ).

I was sent a air ticket of a Kingfisher airline to Delhi from Jodhpur. Time of departure: 1510hrs. Jodhpur is 175Km’s from Barmer. I talked to a taxi driver, he said “Sirji, tension na lo, pakad lenge, bahut time hai. “ Even after having this solid affirmation ,I still slightly doubt hurriedly packed my bags and told him “ Bahiya daba do”.

Time 1400hrs: Destination Jodhpur (still 60kms).

I said “ Bhaiye jara is oont(camel) ko bhaga lo.”
Driver.” Sirji koi tension nahin hai, bada time hai.”
I was a little surprised what the hell was on his mind.
Then he disclosed the mystery, he thought we could just directly board the plane so even if we reached at 1500hrs it was , according to him, well before time.
It was then I realized why he was so damn confident. I told him to hurry up so that I could reach before 1500hrs.

Time: 1435: Searching for the Airport.

Abe tujhe airport nahin pata, kaisa taxi driver hai, aur be tu itne maje main kaise bola pahuncha doonga. Jab pata nahin tha phir kahan le jata be. I was yelling loudly at him, some hurried phone calls and the usual public interrogation helped me reach there at exact 1500hrs. He was right, we were there in time (to be precise as per his defininition of ON TIME).

At times celebrities can help you out, BUT ONLY AT TIMES, the Liz Hurley and Arun Nayyar wedding helped , the rush of visitors flying by a charted plane to Mumbai had led to the flight to Delhi being delayed, due to lack of Parking space at the Jodhpur Airport. Thanks Hurley and Mr. Nayar. Now it was delayed by over 2hrs, but I never got bored, I had a lot to see, with ladies from all around the globe, in the best possible scanty public clothing, likes of preity zinta, the bride herself with her son. My colleagues call her the “bacche waali biwi”.

As far as the males they were no less with all the weird flashy pinks, floral shirtls, jeans cut here and there, pointed not so pointed shoes, and the females and males all had one thing in common all wore sun shades, even inside the airport. The designer Rohit Bal himself was there, nayyar dulhe ka bhai apni biwi aur biwi ke bache ke saath( bhaiye kya pata yeh bhi bacha saath lekar aayi ho). I had only seen such kind of funny clothing only on the ramps, or late night FTv, and I always thought who the hell would wear them. Its here I got my answer.

Anyways thanks to the wedding bash I could catch my flight meet no actually see in reality the people who looked beautiful on screen, I have started loving photography, I think photographers are magicians, they can make things, people look extremely beautiful .

NAYE KA EXCITEMENT…

It usually happens with all of us , when we buy something new we are really excited to show it to all. Could be anything from clothes to electronics, furniture, gadgets or perfumes etc etc.

Recently me and one of my dear friends bought a new digicam. That’s where the story begins. As soon as it arrived, the whole night he just kept reading and experimenting with the various features available, i really appreciate this inquisitiveness and honour it. Hope this stays post marriage too. Anyways after having known most of them, felt elated to have bought such a wonderful cam. Clicked pics of sleeping half naked, weirdly clad pals, with flash focused directly on the face to get a portrait image….”jaise shaadi waali close ups hoti hain, ajeeb ajeeb se pose main”.
When asked what the hell he was upto….waking us all up. The reply “Abe wildlife photography karenge, practice kar raha hoon”

This was photography, when it comes to clothes ….shirts and jeans etc good to wear and show. I have met a dude who was particular about his undies…only blacks and dark red. Even greater was his enthu to wear it and take a round in the hostel corridor so that it is noticed well. Now that’s what u call excitement.