The “five star waala safed tourist” theory.

It usually happens that foreigners visit India, to see india as it is. They are passionate about it, but lack the guts to actually endure and enjoy what india is all about. So, the so called five stars and tourism department comes in from nowhere to help them out…it is really good. They give them a comfortable stay, a wonderful ambience, as they like, and a contrived picture of india as they have seen in the books. The desert safari, the local visits, the food, the snake charmers even, and everything is very meticulously put forward as "The Real India". This is not limited to only the foreign visitors but to a lot many our people who have taken to the same way of exploring Indiyaah. But ask people who have actually seen India, they know to see India the first thing you got to do is have less cash, and a desire to enjoy this state of affairs as it comes.

The travel: To reach a remote area in a rickety bus that takes full 3 hours for 90km run. The bus is packed to capacity inside, outside and above with all sorts of kitchenware, kids with noses running, and people with at least 6 such kids managing their way to a seat or making themselves comfortable on the floor, bidi-ciggarette smoke filling the little air left to breathe, the cross ventilation is blocked by standing and packed to capacity people open doors with people hanging on the foot rest serve as French windows. The co-driver shouting –begging people to take tickets, he squeezes and like a meandering river makes way through the crowd to each person to take the fare. The driver meanwhile stops the bus till all have got their tickets, and plays the typical hindi songs of Altaf raja “ tum toh thehre pardesi” or the broken heart love songs of the legend Rafi sahib, but sung by a localite in an attempt to imitate him. Suddenly there is a war cry “oyeeeee chaaaal” the driver starts the engine and the bus moves as shivery and slowly as possible with windows creaking, chairs shaking, children crying, the junta showering all the mom and sister blessings to each other and especially to the driver, loud sonorous snoring from the few who manage to catch a quick nap and amidst this clamour you get to hear a beautiful folk song the locals call it “Ragini”. The only musical instruments are few stones thumping the tin of the bus and still a lovely music which is in sync with the singer is heard. Ragini is the local folk rendition of tales from mythology or daily life. It is this lovely rendition that makes the entire journey musical and worth having taken.

Probably the gora’s who sit in the a/c buses with elvis and pink Floyd, Mltr music playing will see the vast extent of landscapes but not the even greater extent of the …heart of india.

The food: The same bus stops at a local dhaba, with a 12yr old stepping in to shout “yeh bus abhi aadhe ghante idhar hi rukegi, jisko khaana ho , chai pini ho idhar khaa sakta hai.” On offer is the local food in local style. Rajasthan for instance has gatte ki sabzi, singri, kadhi, baajre ki roti with lots of ghee, chaach, spicy dal, rajasthani style raita, and churma as the sweet dish……ummmmmmmmmm…..and a charpoy to rest once you have had two or three burps. A nap on the charpoy amazing, refreshes you completely, when you wake up there is a “2rs standard kullhad waali kadak chai “ bas piyo aur bindaas jiyo. I just forgot to mention, the goras think a lot about the hygiene and stuff, they should as they aren’t use to it agreed . But, because they think they will fall sick eating out they do.... most of them. Real food should be filled up real way. The locals in Rajasthan, Bihar, Jharkhand rather almost all the interiors of india eating with our hands is the norm. People who have not done that, they find it “ yeh kya ganwaar ki tarah” types. But, I tell you it is wonderful, far more satisfying than the steel tool and far more enjoyable. Not a speck of rice you will find in their platter, they know the importance of food and prefer not to waste an iota of that. The way a person in Chennai eats is different from that in Jharkhand, in Bihar, Assam or even in Kashmir, they use the god gifted natural spoon the hand but each has a peculiar style. Gora will find it clumsy, uncivilized and what not, but never realize the thought behind it.

The accommodation: The gora will be invited to a lovely, comfortable cottage or a hotel as the arrangement is. They sleep well in that enclosure of theirs but india has a better way to sleep, the people here work hard and hence find no use of extravagant paraphernalia to induce sleep, they just put a charpoy in the open air and close their eyes. The night breeze is wonderful, with the moon and the stars as your natural blanket, everything is so silent that one can hear himself breathe, pitch dark, if it is a full moon night it looks beautiful. The jute charpoy is a little rough, but that is really lot relaxing and an experience to have. But before you are off to sleep I forgot to mention, the local tradition of the “kadhai waala doodh” ahaaaaaa…wow. It is actually soporific.

The local “buggi” or bullock cart, the tubewell bathing, the “aam ke baagh, litchi ke baagh”, the warmth of the people, the togetherness and honour they have for their guest, the dust, the heat, the rain, the attire which might be bare minimums for the local men, the crowd, their language, their traditions, their ways of living and numerous such things. You need to stay with them the way they do, you just can not take to your abode and still say that you have seen india. Yes, you did have a glimpse of it, a contrived view to be precise, the way the heart of india is, to know that, give your heart to it, enjoy it explore it, forget where you belong, where you are heading, just masti.com…that’s the mantra.

there is lots more to share....rather i will say how i have spent my days like this....enjoyed each moment...soon.