This is one of my attempts to be a hasya kavi. I have made few such in my college those were specific to the people there . But this is on the life of a person who thought he was in a good engineerig college and that was enough to be successful in life. So he didnt study and now he looks back to give a word of advice. See if you guys can relate and appreciate that. This is HINGLISH( the hindi words put in english.. i have tried to) so it will require a little effort.
Dilli se gurgaon tak ke safar main,
ek paon tha bus main aur doosra kabar main,
paisath ki umar main hero ban rahe they,
bhari sardi main bus ke darwaaze pe latak rahe they,
gadiyon se bhale hi bach jaate,
thand se 100 % mar jaate,
tabhi conductor bola, tau!! main seat chod deta hoon,
tum baith jao,
kahin tum duniya chod ke , permanent na lait jaao.
uski baat sabko mazak lag rahi thi,
par uske kathan main meri vyatha jhalak rahi thi.
katakshon ke bhoj se, aur umar ki thakan se,
jhapki lag gayi
sapne main 15 reel ki film " Flashback jawani" chal gayi.
Film thi black & white , par mijaz poore rangeen,
sundar kanya, Sachin, Somras, aur sone (sleep) ke behad shaukeen.
3 sal 6 mahine aise hi masti karte nikal gaye,
jab naukri nahin lagi, to 6 mahine main shauk bhi badal gaye.
subah sham to pooja karte they,
jab jagte to padhai, sapne main revision chalte they.
hum naukri ke peeche , aur naukri hamse bhag rahi thi,
har company, ladka " all clear"( bina suppli.) mang rahi thi.
hamne socha prabhu , ye pehle bata dete,
to thode jyada pharre chala lete,
kismat se naukri mil gayi,
man main aashaon ki halogen jal gayi.
ki ab sab sapne poore ho jaayenge,
biwi, benz aur bima (LIC) teenon mil payenge.
in par bhi sheegra hi paani phir gaya,
jab "c2c" kaat ke 15 ka 5 hi reh gaya.
kamate they to shadi ki baat chal gayi,
kanya ke vichar se hi banche khil gayi.
pandit bola " aise kaise baat banegi",
shadi chodo itne main to dekhne ko na milegi.
yeh sunte hi sapna toot gaya,
jahan utarna tha woh stop peeche choot gaya,
is safar main to ulta chale jayenge,
jo beet gaya woh samay kaise wapas layenge.
par tum apni life ki,
aisi "C" grade film banne se bacha lo,
hum sirf salah de sakte hain,
usi se kaam chala lo.
Tumhari film block buster ho,iske do (2) option hain
jo kar soko woh karna,
ya to ameer baap ke yahan paida hona,
ya college main theek se padhna.
Thats it guys see if you can make out, its a clean poetry if you find vulgarity remember its in hindi written in english, so search for options before going ahead with the "wrong" guess.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Demoliton Sqad.
Some time back Mr. Gajodhar pande thought of buying a house with his hard earned money. Struck a deal with a contractor for a house in a posh upcoming locality in delhi. After the inaugral mahurat and other rituals he entered the house with his family. They lived happily thereafter , but only till the last week.
They came to know that the construction was illegal the land belonged to the government. As per the High court orders it had to to demolished. They tried to protest along with others to save their house , but no one to listen to them. At last they packed(most of it was just thrown out ) their stuff and were now on the road,that was the only house they had. The Demoliton sqad arrived early morning , somehow these guys become punctual at these times, and within no time it was grounded. This is what Mr & Mrs. pande along with their children went through, but the numbers like them are far more. After reading all this probably most of you will sympathise with the family and would want the builder to be caught and shot dead. But look at the facts.
The building was passed by MCD ( the same people who razed it) in return they got loads of money from the parasite builder. The builder transferred that money on to the customers like Mr. pandey. The builder constructed the houses, sold them, made money, got rid off all that and is enjoying this very hard(he had to please a whole bunch of asses to do that) earned money.
The point is, is it only the builder who is responsible for this episode. In todays secenario I as a human cannot leave any oppurtunity for additional income, and the urge is even stronger when the amount is large so large. It's human nature, and most of the general public is not purushottam bhagwan ram , we are here to earn live better enjoy for that we need loads of money and that is what they get.
Dear its a circle it begins with the owner, either he knew the construction is illegal or he did not. If he knew he has no authority to claim or protest. This is a weird explanation that they have been there for the last 15-20yrs and now where do they go. They were putting up at an illegal site , they should be thankful to govt. moreover to god that they were not disturbed for those years. This way anyone can just put up a chai ka khoka around rashtrapati bhawan and after 15yrs he will claim its his place , if todays scene is justified then that too is. Rather I request the govt. to charge them the rent for the time they have been there , then only they will stop blabbering.
Then there is the second breed who say that they didnt know. Bhaiji paisa aapka tha , chori karke laye the to kya farak hai , yadi mehnat se kamaya tha to pata karna tha. Its your money and hence your responsibility to seek all information before opting for it. Most of them thought how can the builder( in apartments) cheat so many people, all people are not fools. So looking at each other all of them paid, trusting that all others are not fools rather than inquiring the authenticity of all the documents. It is this what the builder encashed, your lethargy, your lethargy to look up in the govt. office if the structure is authorised and moreover your trust on each other that the builder will not be able to dupe all of you togther. I rather admire these builders for their business acumen, that is encashing oppurtunity.The MCD officials have earned personally when they allowed you to occupy, the govt. will earn from the demolition bills they give you. So, its money to them in good or bad, they earn from you.
There has been this ulhasnagar mumbai case which is a big KALLA DHABBA on this pious movement. This has set a precedent for all other illegal construction owners to demad legalisation on the pretext of the ulhasnagar being a similar colony that has been legalised, and there cant be different parameters for judging the others, remember being taught in primay school right to equality before law. And this has nothing to do with the ministers sympathising with the residents , if the cases are opened lots of them will be charged with bribery and other corrupt practices. They are given their share of paisa by the residents of ulhasagar to do this, they are saving their ass, earning money(that is what they were there for, to earn by exploiting the power vested to them for the junta's benefit) , a solid voter support so that they remain in power, unki to chaaro ungliya ghee man aur sar kadhai main hai baboo marta to aam aadmi hai whether these structres are leaglised or not.
The conclusion is that its a symbiotic kind of relationship where the ministers help us to save their ass and we help him stay in power because he will let go off anything we may do. Without the slightest thought that oneday we will be the ones cribbing over these incidents.
They came to know that the construction was illegal the land belonged to the government. As per the High court orders it had to to demolished. They tried to protest along with others to save their house , but no one to listen to them. At last they packed(most of it was just thrown out ) their stuff and were now on the road,that was the only house they had. The Demoliton sqad arrived early morning , somehow these guys become punctual at these times, and within no time it was grounded. This is what Mr & Mrs. pande along with their children went through, but the numbers like them are far more. After reading all this probably most of you will sympathise with the family and would want the builder to be caught and shot dead. But look at the facts.
The building was passed by MCD ( the same people who razed it) in return they got loads of money from the parasite builder. The builder transferred that money on to the customers like Mr. pandey. The builder constructed the houses, sold them, made money, got rid off all that and is enjoying this very hard(he had to please a whole bunch of asses to do that) earned money.
The point is, is it only the builder who is responsible for this episode. In todays secenario I as a human cannot leave any oppurtunity for additional income, and the urge is even stronger when the amount is large so large. It's human nature, and most of the general public is not purushottam bhagwan ram , we are here to earn live better enjoy for that we need loads of money and that is what they get.
Dear its a circle it begins with the owner, either he knew the construction is illegal or he did not. If he knew he has no authority to claim or protest. This is a weird explanation that they have been there for the last 15-20yrs and now where do they go. They were putting up at an illegal site , they should be thankful to govt. moreover to god that they were not disturbed for those years. This way anyone can just put up a chai ka khoka around rashtrapati bhawan and after 15yrs he will claim its his place , if todays scene is justified then that too is. Rather I request the govt. to charge them the rent for the time they have been there , then only they will stop blabbering.
Then there is the second breed who say that they didnt know. Bhaiji paisa aapka tha , chori karke laye the to kya farak hai , yadi mehnat se kamaya tha to pata karna tha. Its your money and hence your responsibility to seek all information before opting for it. Most of them thought how can the builder( in apartments) cheat so many people, all people are not fools. So looking at each other all of them paid, trusting that all others are not fools rather than inquiring the authenticity of all the documents. It is this what the builder encashed, your lethargy, your lethargy to look up in the govt. office if the structure is authorised and moreover your trust on each other that the builder will not be able to dupe all of you togther. I rather admire these builders for their business acumen, that is encashing oppurtunity.The MCD officials have earned personally when they allowed you to occupy, the govt. will earn from the demolition bills they give you. So, its money to them in good or bad, they earn from you.
There has been this ulhasnagar mumbai case which is a big KALLA DHABBA on this pious movement. This has set a precedent for all other illegal construction owners to demad legalisation on the pretext of the ulhasnagar being a similar colony that has been legalised, and there cant be different parameters for judging the others, remember being taught in primay school right to equality before law. And this has nothing to do with the ministers sympathising with the residents , if the cases are opened lots of them will be charged with bribery and other corrupt practices. They are given their share of paisa by the residents of ulhasagar to do this, they are saving their ass, earning money(that is what they were there for, to earn by exploiting the power vested to them for the junta's benefit) , a solid voter support so that they remain in power, unki to chaaro ungliya ghee man aur sar kadhai main hai baboo marta to aam aadmi hai whether these structres are leaglised or not.
The conclusion is that its a symbiotic kind of relationship where the ministers help us to save their ass and we help him stay in power because he will let go off anything we may do. Without the slightest thought that oneday we will be the ones cribbing over these incidents.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Baat Jo Palte (BJP)
The above definition fits best for BJP after their announcement that they would oppose the expulsion of tainted MP'S. There was a time when BJP brought about an order asking the expulsion of tainted MP's( of non-BJP parties) from the parliament . They staged a walk out , boycotted the parliament session. Our prime-minister and few other sensible people of the house ( these should be placed as highly endangered on the verge of extinction species) requested to resume session so that important bills could be discussed.
But they did not move from their stand, again it was the junta, aam -admi who bore the expenditure of these not in session sessions. As the figures state, the cost of running Parliament is Rs11,22,829 per hour. Normally, the two houses sit for six hours a day. So multiply and you get a huge sum, that is irrelevant to the MP's because they have seen and have more of not so hard earned money.
Now when caught on the "sting" operations "duryodhana" and "chakravyuh" the BJP says it will oppose expulsion of MP's. A wonderful situation a pary decides whether to support/oppose a bill simply on the basis of the benefits it will derive from it. And leaves the cost for the taxpayers to bear.
BJP might have this in mind that the ruling party did not follow when asked to. So why should they! But by following the same you too arent doing any better. Had you set an example by publicaly supporting expulsion not only from the parliament but also from the party. Had you introduced a bill to impose a life term ban on them (and any person caught in future) from holding any govt. post (pvt. sector wont take them so needn't worry about that) . They would have managed to keep up the support of the so called educated and literate class. This was an oppurtunity just as big as Mrs. Sonia Gandhi had when she relinquished power of the highest order in India. She directly set an example that she was not hungry for power ( which most say but forget as they get it). That led people to have faith in her , admire her for her deed and gave the aam -admi a hope that the country had made a good decision.
Similary, this was the time for BJP to set the same example of being a clean party, wash off all sins (people usually dont remember) for future elections, because this act would always become an alibi that they dont forgive corrupt people, so they dont have them too. Arre aur kuch nahin to inki bali de kar party ko to bacha lete,ab to gayi buffalo paani vich!!!
A cliche saying fits here "Oppurtunity knocks the doors once" and you let it go(very rare in politics).
On the other side, just to have a look at what have they got by supporting these " corrupt, maha -papi's, who will never change (once you have seen big money, you can't) , who formed the majority of those stung b/w their legs. It has got a makeover, that it is a party that supports corrupt , good for nothing people.
You think we cannot understand this game of numbers, dear we can, had you had one or two you would have done the same. Supported expulsion because that would not make much of a difference in you vote bank ( all those caught were baccha constituency elected). But when it exceeds a certain limit you can not , that will directly affect the votes cast in support of BJP.
See the so called jahil , ganwar junta can make out it is all a game of NUMBERS-- whether its money or votes. The more the merrier.
But they did not move from their stand, again it was the junta, aam -admi who bore the expenditure of these not in session sessions. As the figures state, the cost of running Parliament is Rs11,22,829 per hour. Normally, the two houses sit for six hours a day. So multiply and you get a huge sum, that is irrelevant to the MP's because they have seen and have more of not so hard earned money.
Now when caught on the "sting" operations "duryodhana" and "chakravyuh" the BJP says it will oppose expulsion of MP's. A wonderful situation a pary decides whether to support/oppose a bill simply on the basis of the benefits it will derive from it. And leaves the cost for the taxpayers to bear.
BJP might have this in mind that the ruling party did not follow when asked to. So why should they! But by following the same you too arent doing any better. Had you set an example by publicaly supporting expulsion not only from the parliament but also from the party. Had you introduced a bill to impose a life term ban on them (and any person caught in future) from holding any govt. post (pvt. sector wont take them so needn't worry about that) . They would have managed to keep up the support of the so called educated and literate class. This was an oppurtunity just as big as Mrs. Sonia Gandhi had when she relinquished power of the highest order in India. She directly set an example that she was not hungry for power ( which most say but forget as they get it). That led people to have faith in her , admire her for her deed and gave the aam -admi a hope that the country had made a good decision.
Similary, this was the time for BJP to set the same example of being a clean party, wash off all sins (people usually dont remember) for future elections, because this act would always become an alibi that they dont forgive corrupt people, so they dont have them too. Arre aur kuch nahin to inki bali de kar party ko to bacha lete,ab to gayi buffalo paani vich!!!
A cliche saying fits here "Oppurtunity knocks the doors once" and you let it go(very rare in politics).
On the other side, just to have a look at what have they got by supporting these " corrupt, maha -papi's, who will never change (once you have seen big money, you can't) , who formed the majority of those stung b/w their legs. It has got a makeover, that it is a party that supports corrupt , good for nothing people.
You think we cannot understand this game of numbers, dear we can, had you had one or two you would have done the same. Supported expulsion because that would not make much of a difference in you vote bank ( all those caught were baccha constituency elected). But when it exceeds a certain limit you can not , that will directly affect the votes cast in support of BJP.
See the so called jahil , ganwar junta can make out it is all a game of NUMBERS-- whether its money or votes. The more the merrier.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
India shining !!! legalised.
Not long back when BJP was in power and their term was about to finish they started the INDIA SHINING campaign to publicise their achievements of the years they had been in power.
The Congress then in opposition won the elections, in which one of their areas of target, to mar BJP image, was this movement. The congress said the BJP govt. was using tax payers money unfairly for their benefit to come to power.
Now the question is how is the passing of the bill that, funds for election campaigns will be allocated by state and central govt, is any different from "INDIA SHINING". The money that they are talking about is the same hard earned and unwillingly paid money that was for India shining movement.
I am sure the bill would pass because that is in the benefit of all members of the parliament, "Legal money to spend, play with apart from what they have always got. So the gist is extra money thru legal channels". So here they are doing nothing but making themselves richer, by taking the tax payers money, that should have been invested for public benefits. Using this to fund their campaigns.
There is another point too, this money ,mostly paid by the upper middle and upper class segments of the Indian society, is invested (from the point of the govt.) in posters, pehlwans, the Desi indian liquor, bribes, booth capturing, arms and the usual buying of MP's (also cow and buffaloes in the case of Laloo prasad Yadav). See what a lovely strategic investment plan for the overall development of the nation , where a financial Guru like Mr. Manmohan Singh is leader of this nation.
KUDOS .....
I think i am not Intelligent enough to suggest a Good solution but can atleast point the flaw as I see it. So guys think over this again.
The Congress then in opposition won the elections, in which one of their areas of target, to mar BJP image, was this movement. The congress said the BJP govt. was using tax payers money unfairly for their benefit to come to power.
Now the question is how is the passing of the bill that, funds for election campaigns will be allocated by state and central govt, is any different from "INDIA SHINING". The money that they are talking about is the same hard earned and unwillingly paid money that was for India shining movement.
I am sure the bill would pass because that is in the benefit of all members of the parliament, "Legal money to spend, play with apart from what they have always got. So the gist is extra money thru legal channels". So here they are doing nothing but making themselves richer, by taking the tax payers money, that should have been invested for public benefits. Using this to fund their campaigns.
There is another point too, this money ,mostly paid by the upper middle and upper class segments of the Indian society, is invested (from the point of the govt.) in posters, pehlwans, the Desi indian liquor, bribes, booth capturing, arms and the usual buying of MP's (also cow and buffaloes in the case of Laloo prasad Yadav). See what a lovely strategic investment plan for the overall development of the nation , where a financial Guru like Mr. Manmohan Singh is leader of this nation.
KUDOS .....
I think i am not Intelligent enough to suggest a Good solution but can atleast point the flaw as I see it. So guys think over this again.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Oh! my turn to Speak !!!!
The front page of Indian Express is covered with the presidents and others( so called eminent people of India) statements as to what they mean by India empowered. A daily column initiated by the Indian Express with the Tata group. The column was going well as they wanted to put forth views of people who really mattered, as in their views of empowerement. The personalities present there from diverse fields sports, corporates, media & entertainment and as always the "sarkari lot of MP's ( i dont know why but "Maha Papis" is the apt expansion of this), few good peoples parents and relatives ( because the good ,honest people have succumbed to the sarkari power) and of course not to mention Amar singh. I have to mention this man apart from others because there is no such gathering where he is not present so it is difficult to put him in a exclusive lot.
These people gathered to discuss what India empowered meant to them. That is what they have always wanted " presence of jouranlist, mikes and a chance to SPEAK" nonsense, crap, hypocritical, and what not but the only thing that matters is they should have the right to practise their freedom of speech.
I dont remember much what they had to say because they speak the same, wherever they may be , irrespective of the kind of gathering, or the place they are allowed to do so. But there was one Mr. Yerchury ( i hope i have spelt it right) he says " I am happy to see the debates still going on that were present when I was young" . Now here is what makes him happy... that India is still struggling with the issues that were there 45-50 yrs back( if i have guessed the age right), the fact it it makes him happy that he and others like him have not done anything and the debate is still going on. Then there are others who talk of Science , technology growth most of them not qualified even to understand what they are talking of,( just picked up terms here and there because they saw that is what people clap at). Few great men still sticking to " Roti , kapda or Makan" when the government in power has people who cannot resist eating away fodder how
do you expect the above to be fulfilled. I and others can go on and on, on this .
But I would like to draw attention to the fact that had Indian Express , instead of inviting people who themselves are the biggest barriers to empowerement , and spending on their welcome and other services so lavishly. Had it adopted some rural school and spent the same amount on the children and providing them facilities . All that all have said would actully be put into action. These dudes came, ate free meals, SPOKE crap, gave a few poses for morning newspapers and went back and slept, to start the day as they have always.
Had the initiative been from IE i am sure it would be a totally different scenario
" Indian will be Empowered"
These people gathered to discuss what India empowered meant to them. That is what they have always wanted " presence of jouranlist, mikes and a chance to SPEAK" nonsense, crap, hypocritical, and what not but the only thing that matters is they should have the right to practise their freedom of speech.
I dont remember much what they had to say because they speak the same, wherever they may be , irrespective of the kind of gathering, or the place they are allowed to do so. But there was one Mr. Yerchury ( i hope i have spelt it right) he says " I am happy to see the debates still going on that were present when I was young" . Now here is what makes him happy... that India is still struggling with the issues that were there 45-50 yrs back( if i have guessed the age right), the fact it it makes him happy that he and others like him have not done anything and the debate is still going on. Then there are others who talk of Science , technology growth most of them not qualified even to understand what they are talking of,( just picked up terms here and there because they saw that is what people clap at). Few great men still sticking to " Roti , kapda or Makan" when the government in power has people who cannot resist eating away fodder how
do you expect the above to be fulfilled. I and others can go on and on, on this .
But I would like to draw attention to the fact that had Indian Express , instead of inviting people who themselves are the biggest barriers to empowerement , and spending on their welcome and other services so lavishly. Had it adopted some rural school and spent the same amount on the children and providing them facilities . All that all have said would actully be put into action. These dudes came, ate free meals, SPOKE crap, gave a few poses for morning newspapers and went back and slept, to start the day as they have always.
Had the initiative been from IE i am sure it would be a totally different scenario
" Indian will be Empowered"
Monday, December 19, 2005
HI !!!!
"hi" now a days thats the most common greeeting , because it's short, thats what ppl want (not all the things) . its one of those hep things associated with the cool dude and the "in" generation .., only rarely you would see the in gen. using it with the so called oldies.
Still we have the usual namaste , pairi paina, dhok, and the more religious making it a point to always shout "jai ram ji ki" as if addressing not a person but the god himself.
these greeting might appear trivial not very reflective of something , because thats a routine thing..
but if you really see that put forwards a lot to know
firstly the religion , sasriyakal , as-salam-valekum etc..
then the persons region dhok , specific to raj, pairi-paina to punjab, "hi" of all metroplitans, "bhal ase" of the eastern region etc...
and definitely the kind of warmth the kind of relation the person shares with the addressee...
just give a thought to it words cant express this how...
Still we have the usual namaste , pairi paina, dhok, and the more religious making it a point to always shout "jai ram ji ki" as if addressing not a person but the god himself.
these greeting might appear trivial not very reflective of something , because thats a routine thing..
but if you really see that put forwards a lot to know
firstly the religion , sasriyakal , as-salam-valekum etc..
then the persons region dhok , specific to raj, pairi-paina to punjab, "hi" of all metroplitans, "bhal ase" of the eastern region etc...
and definitely the kind of warmth the kind of relation the person shares with the addressee...
just give a thought to it words cant express this how...
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