Coud be an Illusion....not exactly.

A spate of incidents has slightly shaken the faith I had in myself, my inherent abilities. It now appears to be an illusion I was living with all this while….and now it has come to an end.

I always thought I was good at understanding people, because of my ability to listen to them, empathize, console and give them the assurance that no matter how bad it might appear to be now, but it still isn’t the worst. There ought to be a way, and moreover they aren’t alone. I will trudge the path with them, I will stand with them, always. I might not be a superhero to set all things to just perfect, but definitely I would try to do what so ever is best possible. But this confidence I had on myself recently faded, I am not that good as I thought. My analysis, my observation of situations and people is still no better than a kid to be precise; a kid makes no judgment on what is in the heart but it is only the appearance at a particular moment that matters, and that moment itself is eternity for him.

Meri chaahi karan ki, jo tumhari chah,

Apni chaahi kariyo, yeh hi meri chah.

This might have been advocated by some great man, but I heard it from a very simple man, my father. When it comes to caring for somebody, I have not seen a better example than him. The way he cares for his kids, the family, the relatives his friends, his kid’s friends and even unknowns rather any person who walks up to him. This is what I have learnt from that man during my entire growing up. He taught me: Caring for people has more to do with understanding each other, compromising in the others favour, sacrificing our expectations for their happiness, and giving them an assurance ek dilaasa ki main tumhaare saath hoon har pal, go ahead and do what makes you happy. It is this belief of his presence with me, always even when I am in distant remote corners, that has made me take up the most difficult challenges, make the toughest of decisions, go ahead with what makes me happy…to live the way I want to. He never expresses that, but then the most beautiful and important things can never be put in words, they can just be felt….it has more to do with experiencing and enduring than to do with expressing and expecting. I followed this, and that might make me appear insensitive, strange and not one of those who care.

But then my faith in my foundation is stronger than any setback that might try to teach me otherwise …sounding arrogant ha!!!! . Rarely people get an opportunity to stand up for themselves…and they shouldn’t loose that, that’s exactly what I am doing and should be doing.